Hitting the bong was far from Phelps’ worst offense

Olympic champion Michael Phelps got caught smoking from a bong at a party at the University of South Carolina. A picture of his alleged illegality was sold to a British newspaper, and immediately sent shockwaves across the world.

The terms “double standard” and “free ride” have been strewn about so flippantly — certain truths must be made clear.

First, Phelps didn’t win more gold medals than anyone else because of pot.

Second, Mary Jane is not a performance-enhancing drug.

Third, this isn’t the worst thing Phelps has done to his image.

Flashback to 2004, when Phelps, fresh off eight medals at the 2004 Athens Olympics, was arrested and charged with drunk driving after speeding through a stop sign. When pressed by the trooper to admit his drunkenness, “The defendant replied, ‘I know. I’m sorry. I was just scared because I have a lot to lose.’”

The fact that his DUI is seen as the second worst thing the Olympian has ever done is mind-boggling.

In 2006, nearly one-third of all traffic-related fatalities — a total of 13,470 deaths — were because of drunk driving, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. And we’re mad Phelps got high at a party, away from the road and children?

In his apology — the role model, not Phelps — for drunk driving, he said, “I recognize the seriousness of this mistake. I’ve learned from this mistake and will continue learning from this mistake for the rest of my life.”

In his apology — again, the role model, not Phelps — for hitting the ganja, he said, “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old, and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

I’m calling shenanigans.

Phelps is not sorry he hit a bong at a party.

He’s sorry he got caught and is now forced to feign an apology for the world and the millions of future swimmers he continues to inspire.

But this raises a question about the era of the role model in our 21st century world, where any escapade can be caught, filmed and distributed to anyone with an Internet connection within seconds.

We should not expect Phelps to “learn from his mistake,” especially considering the puerile criticism of Phelps more closely resembling the Salem witch trials than a criminal investigation.

When seemingly every major sporting event is sponsored by Budweiser, when Diddy can endorse Ciroc premium vodka, when everyone has a photo function on their phones, can we really expect every public figure to be held to the same inane standards in public now that their private lives can be displayed on the web quicker than Rosetta Stone can teach Chinese?

Phelps’ mistake was not hitting the peace pipe but being a world-famous athlete with an inherent responsibility to millions of children to act a certain way.

But even then, this doesn’t set aside the fact that Phelps was doing what more than 97 million Americans have tried, according to a 2007 National Institute of Health study.

The list of people who have tried marijuana include President Barack Obama and former President Bill Clinton, although not successfully — it only works if you inhale. According to Obama, “that was the point.”

No shortage of statistics exist on the fallibility of our marijuana laws, but citing these sources over and over again won’t change the disastrous results of our archaic drug war.

With law enforcement spending billions per year trying to fight this disastrous war, the pot industry itself — although illegal — still generates billions per year, with many wishing money could be taxed and given to the federal government.
Marijuana smokers could provide the single biggest stimulus this economy has ever seen.

Pot is only illegal because of the billions upon billions given to the pharmaceutical industry for less effective, still fatal drugs. Those drugs are getting weirder as well.

The FDA approved use of milk from genetically engineered goats to produce a drug to be marketed and sold in the hopes of preventing the spread of blood clots, according to The New York Times.

The next time you see a commercial for a prescription drug in which the narrator says, “A few studies, some fatal, have been reported with the use of this drug,” think about Phelps, President Obama and the rest of the 97 million of us prevented from using pot responsibly.

Would you rather illegally smoke an herb or legally take a drug made out of goat pleasure?

Originally published in The Daily Reveille...

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