Electing a Dream

I'm only 21 years old, and even I never thought I'd see the day.

Maybe my standards of America are severely lower than most. Maybe I've bought into the pessimism accompanying racial divisions in America. Maybe I'm just naive.

I still believe November 4th was a dream realized.

We've heard stories of 100-year-old men and women wishing beyond wish, hoping beyond sane limits of hope, that America could possibly overcome a huge source of animosity and ambivalence.

If insanity is expecting a different end from the same means, those previously considered insane were released from the asylum.

Now a different notion surrounds me. In a class of mine, a new prism of racism revealed itself. It was mentioned, and later concurred, that it is racist to take pride in Barack Obama's presidency, thinking that our election of a "black" man both transcends and ends racism.

While I agree with this thought -- especially since Obama is a mutt, like me -- I find it somewhat condescending to criticize those reveling in Obama's presidency merely due to his race and not his policies. Personally, I voted for Obama because I read his book, The Audacity of Hope, and found it to be as close a referendum of how politics were, are, and will be in the future. I believed his message of bridge-building in any situation.

It reminds me of a scene from The West Wing. President Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen), in the middle of a particularly busy day, sat in a meeting with essentially his ideological counterpart. The pair agree that President Bartlet is "a tree-hugging, baby-killing commie liberal," while his opponent is "a gun-totin', redneck son of a bitch," but the pair agree on campaign finance reform.

The "either-or" mentality that plagues most, if not all, of our political discussions have proven detrimental to the gathering of solutions. Americans have either been "pro-life" or "pro-choice," or even "pro-death," depending on who you ask. We're either pro or anti-gay marriage, pro or anti-capital punishment, pro or anti-the war.

One thing we seem not to aspire to, however, is pro-solutions.

It's easy to give a diatribe on "coming together" with "common hopes" and "bridge the gaps" to "strive for equality."

Using buzz words and phrases has always been easy than tackling issues head on.

And that last phrase is my personal favorite. I've always wanted to tackle abortion head on.

But in Barack Obama, we find the whole of America. With an exotic upbringing combined with middle-American roots and a penchant for knowledge and understanding, Obama's election was and still is a symbol of what Americans can achieve. Remaining complacent on this sentiment, however, will leave us with the same gridlock that has plagued our politics for decades.

Gridlock, though, is the balance that prevents potential supermajorities from oppressing the minority viewpoint. Consult Alexander Hamilton if you're confused. Stagnancy is what prevents our democratic republic from becoming an aristocracy, or even a totalitarian state.

So to those fearful of the future, for those excited at the prospect -- and in January, the reality -- of an Obama presidency, for all of us, please follow these four steps:

1. Read The Audacity of Hope.
2. Look inside yourself for the issue you feel the most passionate about, and try to find someone who completely disagrees. (For traditional conservatives out there, just find me. Chances are we disagree on something.)
3. Start a debate.
4. After the issue is exhausted, given you haven't cursed out your opponent, thank the other, and invite them to continue exploring the issue further.

Politics aren't meant to be scary. They also aren't meant to be handled by "someone that really cares about that thing or whatever." Politics involve both the best and the worst of all of us. Freedom and equality provide us the opportunity to debate.

So please join me and President-Elect Obama in this, the limitless pursuit of a dream realized.

Yes, oh yes, we can. More than that, we should.

And we will.

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What "RNC" Really Means

Stephen Colbert's description of the 2000 Republican National Convention.



"Well Jon, as a journalist I have to maintain my objectivity, but I would say the feeling down here was one of a pervasive and a palpable evil. A thick, demonic stench that rolls over you and clings like hot black tar. A nightmare from which you cannot awaken. A nameless fear that lives in the dark spaces beyond your peripheral vision and drives you toward inhuman cruelties and unspeakable perversions. The delegates' bloated pustulant bodies, twisting from one obscene form to another, giant spider shapes and ravenous wolf-headed creatures, who feast on the flesh of the innocent and suck the marrow from the bones of the poor. And all of them driven like goats to the slaughter by their infernal masters on the podium. Known by many names: Beelzebub, Baalzebul, Mammon, Abaddon, Pharatus, Asmodius, Satan, Lucifer, Nick, Old Scratch, The Ancient Enemy and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. This is Hell, Jon, where the damned languish forever in a black flame that gives no heat, sheds no light, yet consumes the flesh forever and will not go out, Jon."

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Noose outlawed in La., Confederate flag should follow

Hundreds of new laws went into effect Aug. 15. Louisiana became the 50th state to ban cockfighting while the fleur-de-lis became an official state symbol.

It is now illegal for a noose - whether actual or drawn - to be displayed publicly with intent to intimidate, punishable by up to a $5,000 fine or imprisonment of no longer than a year.

The law defines a noose as "a rope tied in a slip knot, which binds closer the more it is drawn, which historically has been used in execution by hanging, and which symbolizes racism and intimidation." Louisiana is now the third state, after Connecticut and New York, to ban the noose.

The noose always symbolizes intimidation; hanging it at all demonstrates the intent to intimidate.

This rationale applies to the Confederate flag.

In my eyes, the noose and the flag only differ in symbolism because the noose is the actual weapon used to lynch.

But the flag has long been defended as a symbol of Southern pride. "The flag is seen by some Southerners simply as a symbol of Southern pride, [but] the flag is often used by racists to represent white domination of African-Americans," according to the Anti-Defamation League, which lists the Confederate flag as a hate symbol.

The "pride" some Southerners are adamant about perpetuates the stereotype the Confederacy was established on - that whites and blacks are not equal. Tailgaters who support the purple and gold Confederate flag will stop at nothing to argue otherwise, pretending this symbol of "pride" is not at its core racist and intimidating.

Don't take my word for it - consult the Cornerstone Speech of Alexander Stephens, the only vice president the Confederate States of America ever knew. His speech in Savannah, Ga. in March 1861 defined the foundation of the Confederacy.

"Those ideas [of the U.S. Constitution] were fundamentally wrong … Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery - subordination to the superior race - is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth."

For the record, it was also the last.

"It is, indeed, in conformity with the ordinance of the Creator," Stephens continued. "It is not for us to inquire into the wisdom of His ordinances, or to question them. For His own purposes, He has made one race to differ from another."

The noose law slipped through the House and Senate unanimously, with eight legislators absent from voting. The author of the bill, Rep. Rickey Hardy, D-Lafayette, expressed his joy in the bill's passing to The Daily Advertiser on June 17.

"[Passage of the bill] really shows the heart and mindset of the state has changed," Hardy said. "I hope no one will be prosecuted under this law. We should not fight but do what's right."

Gov. Bobby Jindal signed the law as a disingenuous attempt to resolve the controversy involving the Jena 6. Presumably, Jindal would not want to appear racist by vetoing this feel-good legislation.

But by its mere definition as a "symbol of racism and intimidation," if the noose is now illegal to display, why stop there? Why can't we ban every symbol of racism and intimidation?

More importantly, how many people does it take to classify something as intimidating? If one person - say, myself - finds the Confederate flag intimidating, which I do, can we successfully ban it?

But then again, can we successfully ban anything? Alcohol was banned during Prohibition in 1920, forcing bootleggers to work underground until 1933 when the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution repealed the 18th.

Marijuana is still banned by federal law, yet according to the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, 94 million Americans, nearly one-third of the population, have admitted to marijuana use at some point in their lifetimes.

It's one thing to ban an herb. It's another to ban a symbol of an ideology, which - when pushed underground - forces zealots to educate by example, indoctrinating intolerance in their children.

This example has already been seen through egregious acts across the country.

Last Thursday, 19-year-old Jeremiah Munsen was sentenced to four months in prison for disrupting Jena 6 demonstrators in Alexandria. Munsen drove his pickup, with nooses in tow, back and forth in front of demonstrators.

According to the Associated Press, he pled guilty to a misdemeanor federal hate crime, which carried a maximum sentence of one year in prison. Munsen has a KKK tattoo on his chest, as he and his family are members of the Ku Klux Klan. Brass knuckles and an unloaded rifle were also found in his truck, according to the police report. The noose law was not instituted at the time of his arrest.

In education we find the secret to creating a culture of acceptance, unfortunately coupled with the secret to breeding future agents of racism and intimidation. The last sentence of every flier distributed by the Imperial Klans of America (IKA), the largest current Klan organization in America, implores the importance of "proper" education.

At the end of its fliers, the IKA pleads, "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."

While the noose and the Confederate flag are vile, despicable symbols of our nation's history of hatred, they are also constitutionally protected pieces of speech.

However horrible the noose is, its ban will only encourage those who wish to display it to do exactly that, claiming free speech while ignoring the hatred sparked by its display.

Pretending to dismiss a symbol by banning its display only encourages said use, only less publicly.

The law cannot afford liberties to one symbol of racism and intimidation while banning another. Either the Confederate flag should be banned, or the ban of the noose should be lifted. In either case, we have a responsibility to teach our children exactly what happened in our history and why.

Banning a noose will not end racism, but teaching and spreading the truth will.

While tailgaters fly the purple and gold, and racist, Confederate flag, I'll be getting a tattoo of a fleur-de-lis. That's Southern pride.

And for any of you who wish to display your racism publicly with intent to intimidate but fear imprisonment, don't fret. There's no law against making a noose out of a Confederate flag.

Yet.



Originally published in The Daily Reveille...

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Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes redefined the words "Soul Men"

"Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?"

"You don't understand. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers!"

Those were the first words uttered to me by Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac, respectively. One introduced himself to me on Def Comedy Jam, while the other donned an apron and served knowledge as a cartoon cafeteria chef after a career defining what and how soul music sounds.

Both, however, influenced my life in ways I can't imagine.

This past weekend, however, the two lost their lives: Mac succumbing to a complication from pneumonia, while Hayes was found unconscious next to a still-running treadmill. Both dispensed wisdom as filthy as a drunken sailor's on shore leave. But while the pair made me laugh, both Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes were born entertainers, destined to make people smile with their evolving senses of performance.

This fall, the two will shine together for the final time, co-starring alongside Samuel L. Jackson in the upcoming film, "Soul Men." As the story goes, Jackson and Mac are two estranged soul-singing legends who go twenty years without a word to each other. The pair are forced to rally together at a reunion performance at the Apollo Theater when a fellow band member (John Legend) suddenly dies.

On August 9th, Jackson remembered Bernie Mac, reported in the Shreveport Times, the paper from a city where "Soul Men" was shot. "I feel blessed to have shared years of friendship with Bernie Mac," Jackson said. "I'm honored to have finally co-starred with him in what I consider to be his finest cinematic acting achievement."

The title of the article read "Samuel L. Jackson lauds Bernie Mac." Now, most assuredly, he lauds them both.

Already on the internet, the blog-o-sphere has ruptured wide open about a conspiracy involving the trio, with many suggesting that Jackson watch himself. It's that exact kind of thinking that A) you clicked on to get to this blog by Googling "bernie mac isaac hayes samuel l. jackson conspiracy," and B) does irreparable damage to the legacies of all three of these men. These two tragedies were mere coincidence, and to elaborate any further on the causes shows true ignorance coupled with severe lack of respect.

However, the pair are no strangers to controversy, no matter how inane and childish the claims may be. Take, for instance, Mac's joke at an Barack Obama fundraiser (at $2300 a plate, I might add) that led the presumptive nominee to rebuke the comedian's joke. The joke itself isn't new to the world; in fact, I'd heard a version of the joke before I'd heard of Bernie Mac. But it was apparently controversial enough to force people at the dinner to walk out, briefly shining a negative spotlight on Obama for not having YouTubed Mac's stand-up sooner.

Hayes earned himself a similar, equally perplexing, black mark when he left the cast of "South Park" after Trey Parker and Matt Stone ran an episode poking fun at the soul singer's religion of Scientology. Regardless of your feelings of the religion, Hayes has a constitutionally-protected right to worship as he chooses, and Parker and Stone showed a severe lack of class by dehumanizing Hayes's faith, especially after Hayes established himself as one of the most memorable cartoon characters in history as South Park Elementary's "Chef."

Regardless, these minor squabbles with the increasingly disingenuous P.C. police will not have the slightest place in the history of these two pioneers. More people, I guarantee you, will remember that Isaac Hayes wrote the classics "Soul Man" and "Hold On, I'm Comin" for the soul duo Sam and Dave. More people will recognize Bernie Mac's unrelenting wit combined with his no-nonsense approach to life, specifically on his Peabody-Award winning sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," where he models his own life experience taking in his sister's three children.

When it comes to seeing the world from a pessimistic eye, Mac explained it best while having microphone trouble on stage during his smash "The Original Kings of Comedy:" "What type a shit is this?"

They complemented each other in style and in performance. Mac was in your face, helping -- nay, forcing -- you to see the world with a new lens, while Hayes's sultry baritone voice soothed any ill, ranging from impotence to general uncertainty. No matter how Mac's fiery commentary of the world and the minor nuances of life prepared you with laughter, you would be prepared enough before you took your partner home, lit the candles and put on Hayes's second album, "Hot Buttered Soul," for some all-night passion.

The loss of these two giants have left all of our souls wondering. Whether it be wondering about the future or whether or not their creative insight and relentless delivery will ever be replicated. It may be duplicated, but never as authentic or as revolutionary. Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes were two of the men I'd always seen myself emulating, whether in style or in fearlessness. But one thing is for sure: the world will never forget them, and the world will never see another pair quite like them.

For a while at least, all of our souls need a little mending.

Play these two videos at the same time. Start with the bottom one first and let them sink in.

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The YouTube Chronicles, VII

Bill O'Reilly's flip out has got nothing on this crazy psycho.

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The YouTube Chronicles, VI

They don't call him "Shep" for nothing.

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The YouTube Chronicles, V

My question after seeing this:

Why is it even news?

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The YouTube Chronicles, IV

If I could write music, it might sound like this.

Mr. Luke, "A Symbol of Hope"

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The YouTube Chronicles, III

"New Rule: Referring to voters that America has left behind economically as 'bitter' isn't an insult; in fact, it's a compliment, acknowledging that they're smart enough to understand what's happening to them. The hopeful, now those are some idiots. So, let's separate the bitter, my people, from the idiots. If you think the Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they're going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot. And you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you're Bill O'Reilly.

At the end of last week, when Barack Obama ignited the 'bitter-gate' scandal, you'd have thought he climbed Mount Rushmore, dick-slapped Jefferson in the face and spray painted 'God Damn America' over Lincoln. But he wasn't lying. The truth is that religion and guns and hating gays and immigrants are crutches that people lean on. So are fast food, crystal meth and child beauty pageants, but we don't have time to tackle all of America's addictions in one night.

So let's focus on the big thing.

That the people who claim to be the 'non-elitists' are the ones who constantly shift tax burdens from the people who fire you to you. John McCain voted to repeal the estate tax, voted against raising the minimum wage, has no health care plan and is fine with keeping the working class in Iraq for 100 years. But he's a real man of the people. And the President went to Harvard and Yale and inherited your country from his dad. But he's not an elitist because he can neither read nor write. What does it take to label someone 'elitist' these days anyway, they wear shoes? They don't buy their groceries at the gas station? Their dog has a name and their truck doesn't?

You know who is bitter in America? I am, because shit kickers voted twice for a retarded guy they wanted to have a beer with, and everybody else has to suffer the consequences!"


- Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher, April 18, 2008

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Chicago Cubs vs. Milwaukee Brewers Running Diary

7:07 p.m. - With a total of five fantasy players involved in tonight's game between the Chicago Cubs and the Milwaukee Brewers, I feel pumped about tonight's battle of the top two teams in the National League. Miller Park is dressed like coffee creamer, as a solid half of the stadium sporting Cub blue.

7:08 p.m. - Things start immediately as Alfonso Soriano earns some fantasy points for me with a single to left on his third straight swing.

7:09 p.m. - Ryan "The Riot" Theriot lays down a beautiful sacrifice bunt in front of Manny Parra, the Brewer southpaw, and advances Soriano to second.

7:10 p.m. - Soriano steals third base on Parra's fourth ball to Derrek Lee. Jason Kendall, former Cub, is behind the plate for the Brewers tonight, and his throw down to third is off to the left, allowing Soriano with the base.

7:12 p.m. - Aramis Ramirez steps in with runners on the corners and one man out. As ESPN's Bottomline informs me of Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez's trade to the New York Yankees for Kyle Farnsworth, I read next about Manny Ramirez's tirade about how the Red Sox "don't deserve a player like me ... I love Boston fans, but the Red Sox don't deserve me." Would it be accurate to label Manny Ramirez as baseball's current version of Brett Favre? I mean, Ramirez is one of the greatest ever, and his Sox are 2.5 games behind the Tampa Bay Rays, of all teams. Not the Yankees, not the Blue Jays, the Rays. Ramirez needs to follow the lead of the league name of my upcoming fantasy football league: "Retire, Shave and Shut Up." I'm sick of the dreads.

7:13 p.m. - Forgot. Ramirez strikes out on a nasty slider by Parra.

7:15 p.m. - Parra looks relatively good against the Cub lineup so far. Runners are on the corners with two outs for Reed Johnson, but he's getting a couple of lucky calls from the ump. Lou's already jawing from the dugout, looking much more intense in HD.

7:17 p.m. - On a full count, Parra's slider entices Johnson's swing and a miss, but the ball spits back under the legs of Kendall, running back to retrieve it and fires to first wide of Prince Fielder. Soriano comes in to score as D-Lee makes it to third.

7:19 p.m. - I'm starting to hate Jason Kendall even more, even as his mistakes help my Cubs. He's singlehandedly killing the morale of the Brewers. Mark DeRosa squeaks one to center, scoring D-Lee and advancing Johnson to third. Kosuke Fukudome now steps in, hitting .500 against the Brewers this year, but slumping recently. He proves it by grounding into a fielder's choice at shortstop. 2-0 Cubs as Ryan Dempster (11-4, 2.99 ERA), aka Fantasy Stud at Home (shudder), heads for the hill.

7:24 p.m. - Ray Durham steps in for the Brew Crew, looking old. Really all I can say. He proves me glib by hitting a ground rule double that bounces out to the right of the foul pole in right. Impressive shot for the grandpa of the Brewer lineup. I mean, he's 36, but it shows worse than Julio Franco.

7:27 p.m. - J.J. Hardy tattoos a sacrifice fly to right advancing Old Man Durham to third with one out.

7:28 p.m. - Ryan Braun. "Emerging superstar," according to ESPN. Tremendous batter's box backline abuser, in clear HD. He's intentionally kicking the chalk, not even trying to hide it.

7:29 p.m. - Ted Barrett, second base umpire, is just on the grass in front of left field. He's further over on the left side than Theriot at shortstop. Now he's symmetrically opposite for Prince Fielder, after Braun strikes out, as the Cubs employ the Bonds shift for His Majesty.

7:30 p.m. - Shift not necessary, as the Prince walks.

7:33 p.m. - Both starting pitchers allow their first run with a wild pitch. On the 0-2 pitch to Corey Hart, Dempster bounces it wide, right past Henry Blanco, owner of freakishly standard barb-wire tattoos on his arms. Durham scores from first, but Dempster gets his second K of the inning on the next pitch. 2-1 Cubs.

7:38 p.m. - The fans are still coming into the stadium as Blanco pops out to right to start the 2nd inning. In other news, Manny Ramirez might be dealt to the Marlins?!?

7:40 p.m. - After Dempster whiffs on a slider for Parra's 3rd K, Soriano slices a two-out single to left-center, right before Theriot singles lightly to right. D-Lee now steps up with my two fantasy Cubs on first and second with two out.

7:42 p.m. - In true Cub style, D-Lee grounds out to short to end the top half.

7:44 p.m. - I still don't really know who in the @#$% Josh Hamilton is. I'm tired of this uplifting story crap coming out of Texas. We all know uplifting stories only come out of Boston (see: Jon Lester, Clay Buchholz).

7:45 p.m. - And another thing. K Zone. If the camera is just off the plate and not directly in line with the plate and the mound, K Zone is not accurate. Period. I don't care about excuses involving computer graphics.

7:45 p.m. - Rick Sutcliffe, in the booth for ESPN, explains Dempster's two glove twists just before he pitches, claiming he's doing the "hidden-ball trick." I think his comment is stupid, right before Dempster strikes out Bill Hall and makes Mike Cameron pop up to him.

7:46 p.m. - I hate Jason Kendall. Even as he grounds out to Theriot for the third out, I can feel the anger pulsing up and down in my veins. Can anyone explain this?

7:51 p.m. - As Aramis Ramirez flies out to right, the ESPN cameras are looking for as many clips as they can, it seems, of older looking gentlemen in Cubs shirts, all sitting next to random cuties in Brewer attire. They're trying to cite the differences in fans in the stadium, as Reed Johnson grounds to second, and it's kinda pissing me off. It's happening a lot, just a little too much, the assumption that Cub fans in Milwaukee look like depressed alcoholics, while cute Brewer fans are looking for someone to "take to the 'Brewery'," wink wink, nudge nudge.

7:53 p.m. - Winks and nudges don't work online. DeRosa walks and Fukudome grounds into a fielder's choice at second to end the top half of the 3rd.

7:57 p.m. - Parra, the Brewer pitcher, "puts a charge" in the Brew crowd by slapping a double over Reed Johnson's head. Old Man Durham follows, after the lovely Erin Andrews's report on chemistry between Durham and sidelined Rickie Weeks, and flies out to center.

8:02 p.m. - After Hardy advances Parra with a grounder to third, forcing Ramirez to barehand it and fire him out, Ryan Braun grounds to short, forcing The Riot to barehand it and fire him out and end the 3rd. Still 2-1, Cubbies.

8:08 p.m. - The trend of camera shots is continuing with Cub drinkers and Milwaukee foxes. It really is a match made in, well, Wisconsin of all places.

8:09 p.m. - Which reminds me. I may hate Jason Kendall, but at least I haven't lost all respect for him like Brett Favre.

8:13 p.m. - After back to back outs, Soriano and Theriot give me fantasy points with back to back walks before D-Lee ends the inning, grounding out with my guys on base in back to back at-bats.

8:19 p.m. - Dempster 1-2-3's the Brewers to end the 4th.

8:21 p.m. - Parra has won eight straight for the Brewers, with his record coming in at 9-3. Aramis Ramirez's shot hits Parra in the foot, bounces to Bill Hall who barehands the ball and fires Ramirez out at first.

8:22 p.m. - Rick Sutcliffe's top 5 for the NL Cy Young: Tim Lincecum (11-3, 2.78 ERA, 156 K), Edinson Volquez (12-4, 2.77 ERA, 134 K), Brandon Webb (14-4, 3.14 ERA, 124 K), Ryan Dempster (11-4, 2.99 ERA, 120 K) and Carlos Zambrano (12-4, 2.80 ERA, 96 K). My question for you: Name the two pitchers on this list who have the lowest percentage of single victories per team total.

8:24 p.m. - Reed Johnson singles to right.

8:25 p.m. - Answer: the two Cubs. Lincecum has a quarter of the S.F. Giants' 44 victories, Volquez has a little under a quarter for the Reds, and Webb has a little over a quarter of the D'Backs' total wins. The point: while Dempster and Zambrano have both pitched phenomenally for the Cubs this year, there has been more to the team to lead them to the top record in the NL, and voters will see this and unfairly discount the individual performances of Big Z (6'5", 250 lbs.) and Lil' D (6'1", 201 lbs.).

8:26 p.m. - DeRosa whiffs for the 79th time this year. Following him, Fukudome continues his slump with a fly out to Hardy at short.

8:34 p.m. - Jason Kendall makes me hate him by singling to left, makes me laugh at him by getting caught trying to steal second, and makes me do both when Parra slaps his first career triple to left field past Soriano and Johnson. Grandpa Durham gives me peace of mind by grounding out.

8:43 p.m. - Parra's starting to unravel. After pitching scorelessly since the first inning, Parra's got Dempster on second and Soriano on first for The Riot. Nice stat from ESPN: the last Cub to hit .300 after 100 games at shortstop? Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks.

8:45 p.m. - The Riot hooks me up by tripling to right-center, with one of those well-placed slow rollers that just gets past Corey Hart in right. That'll do it for Parra, as he leaves the 6th with 1 out and a 4-1 Cubs lead. To think, Pinella thought about giving The Riot the night off.

8:54 p.m. - Carlos "Village New" Villanueva comes in from the bullpen, strikes out D-Lee and walks A-Ram before Johnson slaps an RBI single into center, scoring The Riot to make it 5-1 Cubs. A Villanueva wild pitch advances the runners to second and third before DeRosa flies out to center. But the damage has been done, 5-1 Cubs.

9:07 p.m. - Dempster slips to the ground during one of his pitches, unintentionally inspiring Lou Piniella to chuckle with a sort of Santa Claus-like roll across his managerial gut. But it's the only highlight of the bottom of the 6th, as ESPN shows a clip of the entire Brew Crew dousing Corey Hart and his daughter with beer upon his selection into the All-Star Game. Dempster induced a flyout to Hardy, a strikeout to Braun, a base hit for Fielder before whiffing All-Star Hart.

9:16 p.m. - Fukudome displays his ultimate strength: pitch-taking. He takes six pitches before lining to short, the ball bouncing off Hardy's knee for an error, ironic after a pre-game montage of the importance of Hardy's glove.

9:17 p.m. - Fukudome runs, Kendall missteps, Fukudome steals second.

9:18 p.m. - With Dempster up, Fukudome's strength shows. After three straight balls to Dempster, Villanueva finally gets two strikes across before Dempster swings and breaks his bat with a foul ball. Dempster whiffs on the seventh pitch. Soriano next, flies out to right to end the Cub half of the seventh.

9:31 p.m. - With a groundout, a strikeout, and a groundout, Dempster retires the 7th.

9:35 p.m. - New pitcher for the Brewers: David Riske. His first pitch is a single to right for The Riot, his second a deep fly landing foul for D-Lee, and his third a pitchout for Kendall to gun down The Riot at second. It's one thing when Kendall pisses me off doing something stupid and reminding me he was a Cub. It's quite another when he makes me lose fantasy points. After A-Ram walks and Johnson singles to right, DeRosa flies out to center. Dempster's walking out for the 8th.

9:45 p.m. - Dempster walks off. He's done. Final line: 111 pitches, 7 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, second straight road victory imminent.

9:48 p.m. - Chad Gaudin comes in and 1-2-3's the Brewer half of the 8th, including getting behind on J. J. Hardy 3-0 before three straight strikes ends the inning.

9:53 p.m. - Miller Park is pouring out. As Brian Shouse warms up for the Brewers, The Brewer faithful are done as I get one last shot of alcoholic meets Milwaukee slut. Honestly. I can see her bright pink nails scratching "Wilford Brimley's" goatee as she walks up the stairs, ass hanging out of her three inch shorts while avoiding the puddles of beer on the ground with her stilettos. By the way, this is all in HD. As Kanye West says, "Welcome to the Good Life."

10:00 p.m. - With one out in the 9th, Blanco doubles to deep left, Ronny Cedeno singles pinch-hit style to right and Soriano walks, loading the bases for The Riot and my final chance at fantasy points for the night, unless Salomon Torres comes in for the Brew Crew.

10:06 p.m. - The Riot for the night is 3-3 with a triple, two singles, a walk, two RBI's and a run. After three straight balls, The Riot walks on four straight, scoring Blanco and ending Shouse's night. Guillermo Mota comes in, forces D-Lee into the fielder's choice at third, scoring Cedeno but getting Soriano out. After an A-Ram strikeout, the Cubs go into the bottom of the last, leading 7-1.

10:13 p.m. - So that's what a Prince Fielder home run looks like. He homers off Neal Cotts after striking out Ryan Braun, and finishes the game with Hart and Hall flyouts. CUBS WIN!!! CUBS WIN!!! Good night.

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A Political Present

You ever want to know what a bipartisan political gift looks like?

This is Sen. John McCain's most recent ad against Sen. Barack Obama, "Celeb," including pictures of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, ultimately making McCain look like a liar and an idiot for including two people who would otherwise never be compared to Obama.

I just hope Middle America's not as stupid as this ad would have us believe as far as susceptibility to commercials are concerned.

Am I alone here, or is it a bad thing to include a giant crowd chanting your opponent's name in approval?

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The YouTube Chronicles, II

Much better proof here. Nas, along with colorofchange.org, delivered a petition signed by over 600,000 people, and a clip from the radio show of John Gibson, a feature anchor on Fox News.

Honestly, watch these two videos and judge for yourself.

Fox News is racist. Enough said.



Nas & ColorOfChange.org Give 620,000 Petitions to Fox News

John Gibson's Christine Reports from the Nas Fox Protest

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The YouTube Chronicles

It isn't easy to search through every video clip on YouTube looking for ways to prove a point.

The point I tried to prove: Fox News is racist.

The proof: Here. Enjoy.

YOU MADDD!

Cam'Ron & Damon Dash vs. Bill O'Reilly & Philadelphia Elementary School Principal

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To Impeach or Not To Impeach

I'm torn.

On the one hand, his administration has lied to the American people 935 times, according to a January 2008 study by the Center for Public Integrity, from the September 11th attacks to the invasion of Iraq in April 2003.

On the other hand, if impeached, President George W. Bush would initiate his final standoff with the nation, a battle which might prove to be useless especially in a campaign year with voters concentrating on who will replace the failure.

For some in Congress, the time for replacement hasn't come soon enough.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-OH, spoke in front of the House Judiciary Committee, as a part of the committee's hearing on executive power and the Bush Administration. A single article of impeachment was filed against Pres. Bush, accusing the Commander-in-Chief of high crimes and misdemeanors stemming from allegations of falsified intelligence by the Pentagon in the lead up to war, the politicization of the Justice Department under Attorney Generals John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales, and the secret propaganda machine involved in selling this war to the American people, among many others.

Regardless, I'm still torn as to the necessity of impeachment for two reasons. First, this is too little, too late from the Democrats. President Bush has a little less than six months left in office, but the Democrats have had control of Congress for the last 18 months. Fight after fight with the Bush Administration leaves Congress with as little as a 9% approval rating this past month.

Second, Rep. Kucinich has the right mind, and I hardly disagree with his reasons for impeachment. Having this issue come up now seems like there won't be enough time to actually complete the process before January 20, 2009. Having this year be an election year, combined with Congress's upcoming, month-long recess -- where we will be treated to our final Crawford Ranch vacation from Dubya -- makes Rep. Kucinich's impeachment article all but useless.

Consider how Pres. Bush has acted this year. He still has the blood of over 4,000 of our troops and countless thousands of Iraqis on his hands, all because of a lie, but no one truly knows for what. That being said, Bush has eased into his role of super-senior. He knows no one, save Kucinich, will challenge his authority as the country is swept into who will sweep up after him.

The country has assumed that there's no point to pursue these sorts of charges on the president, regardless of the validity of the arguments against him, as he will be gone too soon for this process to be effective.

In that respect, I admire Rep. Kucinich's resolve to attempt to stand for democracy and morals in the country's highest public office, but I also realize the apparent pointlessness of pursuing this action, despite my complete agreement and support.

I supported this notion as early as 2002, however, before any of our troops died in the name of a lie. As much of a referendum the 2006 midterm elections were on the war and the Bush administration, Congress has done little to nothing to try to end the war or Bush's tenure as president.

The American people were savvy enough to know this before the election. In a Sept. 2, 2006 CNN Research Poll of 1,004 adults, 57% of those polled thought it would be good for the country if the Democrats in Congress conducted official investigation into the inner workings of the Bush Administration during his first six years in office. By that same token, 69% of the same polling group believed that President Bush should not impeached and removed from office, while 70% of those polled, given the scenario of a likely Democratic Congress coupled with a Republican president, accurately predicted the gridlock and stalemate emanating from Washington since the Democrats took over the Legislative body.

With Congress's current disapproval rating floating in the high 70's, coupled with a president well on his way to that mark by the time he leaves office, the irony emerges. The country has had enough of President Bush and the war in Iraq, but they'd rather not trust Congress with his removal due to their own ineptitude and backdoor dealings.

Basically, the strongest statistic to cite comes from the dissatisfaction of the people in the direction we are going. An average of recent polls finds that roughly 4 in 5 people are dissatisfied with the direction of the country. Contrast this with the same poll question from the month of September 2001, when 1 in 5 people thought we were on the wrong track.

The American people are speaking loudly and clearly, as we often do. But as always in a campaign year, the people are being shoveled coverage of the two candidates like pig feed at a Jimmy Dean farm. And we can't get enough of either Sen. John McCain's search for relevance in rural grocery stores or Sen. Barack Obama doing his best Jesus impression for His giddy followers in Europe. It's hard to focus on the current administration when we look at the relative "inexperience" of a man who convened 200,000 people together in Berlin, versus the light years of "experience" of a man who wants to continue at least a minimal American presence in Iraq for 100 years, who can't remember Czechoslovakia is no longer a country, can't tell the difference between Sunni and Shiite Muslims, and can't even get an editorial published in the New York Times.

But, as always, I digress. In case you couldn't tell who I was just talking about, Sen. Obama is "The One" who went to Berlin.

The truth in Iraq is the coming down of violence, and Bush's new time horizon for a casual withdrawal of troops seems like more of a reality to the world. Now, contrary to the belief that withdrawal is automatically failure, Republicans can actually talk about withdrawal without sarcastic smirks of the same faux elitism they accuse Democrats, specifically Sen. Obama, of emitting to make them seem out of touch with normal Americans.

Just like Rep. Kucinich's article of impeachment, President Bush's new time horizon is too little, too late on a giant mistake. Whether or not Bush will actually receive any condemnation of his actions remains to be seen. However, due to the previous inaction by Congress and the shortness of time given to carry through to this goal -- which is only five months after Congress's summer break -- when it comes to impeaching the president, just call me the current U.S. Constitution.

I'm torn.

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2008 College World Series Running Diary, Game Three

6:00 p.m. – It's been a while, but I'm back, ready to cover the Cinderella story vs. "Dem Damned Dawgs." Fresno State and Georgia battle in tonight's Game 3 of the College World Series, and I don't have to work tonight, so I decided to make something of myself and follow the lead of great journalists like Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite, ready to stand guard against any and all nuances that happen to occur tonight.



6:02 p.m. – In the interest of full disclosure, I'm a die hard LSU fan (and student), and this game tonight honestly holds no interest for me. Fresno State has overcome nearly insurmountable odds going into tonight, facing some of the toughest teams in the nation -- including Rice and North Carolina twice each. If they win tonight, they would be the lowest seed in any collegiate sport to win the National Championship. But the grief and frustration that plowed me after LSU left the bases loaded in the 8th, only to see North Carolina hit a grand slam in the top of the 9th to eliminate the Tigers. So I'm torn. Fresno State winning tonight would be an incredible story, but I would be just as comfortable if the College World Series title stayed in the SEC. Oh well.

6:04 p.m. – I have HDTV. Erin Andrews is on the screen. Enough said.

6:05 p.m. – Georgia was beat down yesterday, winning 19-10 after giving up a five run lead.

6:07 p.m. – Junior southpaw Nathan Moreau gets the ball tonight for Georgia, having pitched in 17 games prior, posting a 4-3 record with a 5.22 ERA. His inside pitching is highlighted as he used it to defeat Vandy in the clincher earlier this month.

6:08 p.m. – Look out for White Sox draft pick Gordon Beckham from Georgia. His glove looks amazingly comparable to his range.

6:10 p.m. – Shortstop David Muno is up first for Fresno State, and he's hitting .391 in the Series. Remember his name. He's a freshman shortstop leading off. That's tremendous pressure.

6:12 p.m. – Muno has fouled off four pitches, and his swing reminds me of Fukudome. Not rushed but total plate coverage. I say that as he grounds out to second.

6:14 p.m. – Fresno State was a four seed in their regional, and ESPN has a graphic of regional seeding equivalents for baseball and basketball. Comparably, Fresno State is a 14 or a 15 seed if seeded by March Madness rules. It only emphasized just how far they've come. I think I'm slowly starting to let my preference known. Was it going to be any surprise? I'm a Cubs fan too. FOREVER THE UNDERDOG!!!

6:16 p.m. – They were also 4 games over .500 going into the WAC tournament and pretty much pronounced dead. Centerfielder Gavin Hedstrom smacks a single just in front of the third baseman and Fresno State's got one on.

6:18 p.m. – Second baseman Erik Wetzel now steps in, hitting .407 in the Series. He flies out to right.

6:20 p.m. – Steve Susdorf hit a two-run shot to right last night against Georgia, but in this first inning he shows me what a left-handed hitter should look like in the box. Before showing me anything, Hedstrom is gunned down by Georgia catcher Joey Lewis, starting behind the plate in place of Bryce Massanari who moved to DH.

6:24 p.m. – We’re now in the bottom of the first, and Fresno State’s pitcher is fat. His name is Justin Wilson, he’s pitched in 22 games, earning an 8-5 record with a 4.34 ERA. But for this running diary, he will be known as Fatboy Wilson.

6:25 p.m. – As Georgia third baseman Ryan Peisel steps in, I can’t help but think that I can’t refer to either of these teams by their mascot name. They’re both the Bulldogs. Well, technically Fresno State is the Bulldogs, whereas Georgia is “Dat dem Dawgs AWYDERE$#%@#,” I guess.

6:26 p.m. – Fatboy’s got some filthy stuff. Meisel struck out like he was John Cusack 25 minutes before the movie ends.

6:27 p.m. – Matt Olson hits the ball straight to second for the second out.

6:28 p.m. – Gordon Beckham steps in with ridiculous numbers. .410 batting average, 27 homers (1 behind LSU’s Matt Clark for the nation’s lead), 76 RBIs, a .519 OBP, and in the CWS, 10-19 with a homer and 4 RBIs. For college?

6:29 p.m. – He smacks a changeup lightly into left field for a beautiful hit. The kind of beauty that comes after a Tony Gwynn single. It doesn’t sell tickets, but it wins ball games and looks like real baseball.

6:29 p.m. – These names are testing my spell check. First baseman Rich Poythress steps in with a healthy .375 average and 75 RBIs. He has 8 RBIs in the CWS, helping Georgia go to 4-1 in the CWS. He promptly flies out.

6:29 p.m. – Steve Susdorf, the Philadelphia Phillies’ 19th pick in the Draft, smacks a line drive that careens off Poythress’s glove and into left for a single.

6:30 p.m. – Next up for Fresno State is first baseman Alan Ahmady, batting .386 coming into the CWS, as Susdorf’s hit is ruled an error by Poythress. Ahmady flies out to left.

6:32 p.m. – Seven first round draft picks have played this year in the College World Series. ::Carsenio-esque:: I did not know that. That is some weird, wild stuff.

6:33 p.m. – YES!

6:34 p.m. – Fresno State has lost two games in Omaha, but the second loss came as a part of the Best of Three format for the final. Poythress flies out to center to end the first, but the announcer brings up the point that Fresno State has played the maximum amount of tournament games possible. They’ve faced elimination at every stage, defeating San Diego 5-1 in the Regional, #3 ranked Arizona State twice in the Super Regional, #2 North Carolina in the CWS to earn a spot in the final, and they won in lieu of going home yesterday against Georgia 19-10. This is truly stunning.

6:35 p.m. – Right fielder Steve Detweiler steps in with one out and a runner on first, and he has a torn ligament in his left hand. Yet, he’s playing in this elimination game. There’s no tendon in there. I don’t know how he was cleared to play. He’s only hitting .256.

6:36 p.m. – The announcer announces that Detweiler is a reliable hitter in clutch situations, including the hit-and-run Fresno State is trying to execute now with a 3-2 count.

6:36 p.m. – I guess I feel stupid?

6:37 p.m. – Detweiler hits Fresno State’s 13th home run in this CWS. He has no thumb on his left hand, and he just took Nathan Moreau deep to right.

6:38 p.m. – I officially feel stupid. I forgot the Cardinal Rule about Omaha – ironically, established by Stanford. Anything can happen in Omaha. Third baseman Tommy Mendonca strikes out hard for out #2.

6:39 p.m. – Catcher Jake Johnson flies out to first, but the damage has been done by Detweiler. 2-0 Fresno State.

6:41 p.m. – Georgia DH Bryce Massanari steps in, as Fatboy pitches against Georgia’s Fatboy. hits a shot to shortstop Muno who bobbles and can’t make the play at first, despite Massanari’s girth. They cut to Massanari’s hot wife Lauren and their new baby. I still love HDTV.

6:42 p.m. – Matt Cerione hits a single to right for Georgia, and now runners are on first and second with no out.

6:43 p.m. – Catcher Joey Lewis, the one that gunned Gavin Hedstrom, strikes out on three straight pitches.

6:44 p.m. – Lyle Allen up next with one out, as the shadows of Johnny Rosenblatt Stadium come into play. He strikes out on three straight.

6:45 p.m. – Erin Andrews again. I’m still in love.

6:46 p.m. – Since Cerione’s hit, including foul balls, Fatboy’s pitched 10 straight strikes. Number 11 is called too high for second baseman Miles Starr. Fatboy is looking more and more like David Wells, in size and facial expression. He’s listed on the Bulldog Web site at 210, and allegedly he’s younger than me by six months and a day.

6:47 p.m. – Miles Starr is battling pretty good, although still at a 1-2 count. He hits it to David Muno, who throws it too high to achieve the fielder’s choice at second. It’s his second error of the inning after playing flawlessly in the CWS up to tonight. Bases loaded, two out.

6:48 p.m. – Ryan Peisel hits a deep shot to center, but is out ten feet short of the fence. Fatboy gets out of the inning, after getting five outs if not for David Muno. I told you to remember the name. So much for pressure.

6:53 p.m. – Fresno State’s nine-hole, catcher Danny Grubb, in only hitting .181. By the way, the “announcer” is Mike Patrick, being joined by Orel Hershiser. Grubb flies out the right for the first out. As Grubb walks back to the dugout, ESPN’s “other” field man stands in front of the gate as Grubb walks past him, obviously pissed.

6:55 p.m. – The shortstop, David Muno, is up as Fresno State gets back to the top of the order. Muno hits to second, and a nice play by Miles Starr gets him out.

6:56 p.m. – Now it’s Hedstrom again with two outs, and Moreau’s having problems with his control. His breaking balls are dipping too low, but it doesn’t stop him from inducing a fly out to center to end the inning. Meanwhile, ESPN’s Bottom line shocks me by reporting that the Kansas City Royals are 9-1 in their last 10 games. Really?!?!?

7:01 p.m. – Matt Olson comes up for Georgia, as Fatboy Wilson’s stuff is still nasty. He misses low with a couple breaking balls, but gets it back up to even the count at 2-2. Olson hits it to Mendonca at third, they show Erin Andrews again (ahhh), and we have one out.

7:02 p.m. – Gordon Beckham hits a shot to deep right, but Detweiler fights off the sun for out number two. Beckham holds the all-time Georgia record for home runs and is a 2nd team Academic All-American. He’ll be a very smart baseball player.

7:03 p.m. – Rich Poythress singles to left with two outs to keep the inning alive.

7:04 p.m. – Bryce Massanari has apparently been mocked for gaining weight during the season, and it shows in Omaha. He’s 3 for 19 up there. But his hot wife Lauren looks stunning in HD. Their daughter’s name is Marley, if you care. Marley Massanari. Nice.

7:05 p.m. – Fatboy vs. Fatboy turns into a great at-bat, lasting eight pitches with an inning-ending strikeout. Bryce is pissed, Lauren looks hotly concerned, and Marley is giggling.

7:09 p.m. – Fresno State has gone from Sacramento State for their final regular season game on 5/16, to Ruston, LA for the WAC Tournament on 5/22, then to the Long Beach, CA Regional on 5/30, the Tempe, FL Super Regional on 6/7, and Omaha on 6/15, making them road warriors for the past 42 consecutive days.

7:10 p.m. – Top of the fourth, second baseman Erik Wetzel up for Fresno State. Moreau gets back into form by striking him out with high heat.

7:12 p.m. – Fresno State third baseman Tommy Mendonca was selected yesterday to the U.S. National Team for the summer, and will head to Gary, NC tomorrow to play ten games before going to Europe.

7:12 p.m. – Left fielder Steve Susdorf steps in with one out and walks.

7:14 p.m. – First baseman Alan Ahmady comes up, strikes out, and screams.

7:16 p.m. – The first pitch to Steve Detweiler is low, Susdorf takes off for second, and Joey Lewis chucks it over second into left, allowing Susdorf to take third.

7:17 p.m. – Mike Patrick: “I don’t know about you, I don’t mess with Detweiler.”

7:18 p.m. – Detweiler screams a double to the wall in center, scoring Susdorf, increasing Fresno State’s lead 3-0 and his own mystique by playing without a tendon in his thumb.

7:20 p.m. – Tommy Mendonca can’t focus on tonight’s game, maybe because of his upcoming U.S. of Play. He strikes out swinging the bat four straight times, with the one foul ball being on a low sinker. End of the inning, 3-0 Fresno.

7:23 p.m. – Matt Cerione steps in for Georgia. He is frozen with a fastball on the outside corner, Fatboy’s fourth strikeout. Cerione takes issue with the call and jaws a bit, but that pitch was good looking. They cut to Cerione in the dugout throwing his bat to the ground, but the audio picks him up screaming “FUCK YOU BITCH!” out to the umpire. Ah, Southern Gentlemen.

7:23.55 p.m. – Mike Patrick: “Whoa.”

7:24 p.m. – Catcher Joey Lewis his a deep ball to center that bounces off the top of the wall and drops in front of the center fielder for a standing triple. He has sufficiently made up for his chuck.

7:25 p.m. – Lyle Allen strikes out again, Fatboy’s fifth. Two out.

7:26 p.m. – Miles Starr strikes out. Fatboy’s sixth. End of the fourth inning.

7:31 p.m. – Fresno State DH Jake Johnson leads off the fifth, as the sun stays out and plentiful. He hits a high bouncer to third, recovered by Peisel and thrown to first for the first out.

7:32 p.m. – Georgia center fielder Matt Cerione shows his range by running down out number two, courtesy of catcher Danny Grubb. He’s down to .179.

7:34 p.m. – Top of the order with two outs, Danny Muno steps in.

7:34 p.m. – The Rays are now beating the Marlins 8-0. That’s not an egregious typo.

7:35 p.m. – Muno flies out to right. I just got a memo in my e-mail: “The Devil Rays are not only just the Rays, they’re also good this year.” Guys, A LITTLE HEADS UP WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE! Carlos Pena’s still on the DL, he’s still on my fantasy team, and the Rays will start sucking when he comes back. It’s the worst kind of karma I’ve gotten used to over the years.

7:38 p.m. – Mike Patrick ended Fatboy’s previous inning by exclaiming, in that Mike Patrick way, “Wilson has six….strikeouts this evening!” I thought he was off by one, as I was sure I wrote down seven different strikeouts. A quick look up at what I just wrote counts seven strikeouts, but only gives credit for six because I trusted Mike Patrick. We begin the bottom of the fifth now, and Orel Hershiser’s talking about Wilson’s seven strikeouts. Fucking Mike Patrick…

7:38 p.m. – Ryan Peisel steps in and grounds to third. Erin Andrews….alright, I’ll stop it. ARE YOU WATCHING ERIN ANDREWS IN HD? I DON’T THINK SO!

7:39 p.m. – Matt Olson, 0-2 tonight, comes in and takes the first two strikes before fouling one off. Fatboy slips off the mound during that pitch and slams his pitching hand in the dirt. Looks like his thumb grazed the mound. He recovers quickly and strikes out Olson. Number 8 for Fatboy.

7:42 p.m. – Gordon Beckham now up, the All-American shortstop. His father was a QB at South Carolina from 1979-82, but it doesn’t stop him from flying out to Detweiler in right. 1-2-3 inning for Fatboy as Fresno State leads after 5, 3-0.

7:46 p.m. – Dean Weaver comes in for Georgia to pitch the top of the sixth. The righty is 6-1 on the season, including 1-0 in the CWS. Moreau’s night is done after five innings and three runs, two of the earned variety.

7:47 p.m. – The umpire stops play, comes up to the mound to talk, but neither Mike Patrick nor Orel Hershiser has any idea what’s going on.

7:48 p.m. – Gavin Hedstrom grounds out to shortstop for the first out.

7:49 p.m. – Erik Wetzel tries to surprise bunt, but Weaver picks it up and throws to first for the second out.

7:50 p.m. – Georgia would be the first team ever to win the title with a losing record in the previous season, as they went 23-33 last year.

7:51 p.m. – Steve Susdorf comes up with two outs and shoots one to left. It bounces off the wall and kicks back in for a double.

7:52 p.m. – Alan Ahmady comes up with two out, two RBIs short of the nation lead. He already owns the single season record, but coming through here with two outs would be clutch, especially with Steve Detweiler on deck.

7:54 p.m. – Ahmady walks, and now runners are on first and second with two out for the 2 for 2 Detweiler, still sans ligament in his thumb. As Orel Hershiser explains, “They’re gonna get one [ligament], and put her in, like Tommy John surgery for your thumb.” Ah, former Dodgers.

7:56 p.m. – After two balls, Detweiler takes strike one.

7:56 p.m. – Tense.

7:56 p.m. – Very tense.

7:56 p.m. – Ball three, high.

7:57 p.m. – LEEGAMENTS! WE DON’T NEED NO STINKING LEEGAMENTS!!! Detweiler homers to deep left, off a high heater from Weaver.

7:57 p.m. – Mike Patrick: “IMAGINE WHAT HE CAN DO WITH TWO THUMBS!”

7:58 p.m. – Ground ball out by Mendonca ends the inning, but Detweiler has all six Fresno State RBIs. In the middle of the sixth inning, Steve Detweiler 6, The University of Georgia 0.

8:00 p.m. – For the crap I’ve talked about Fatboy, he’s pitching really well. And Detweiler has set four CWS records with his performance tonight.

8:00 p.m. – Poythress flies out to center for one.

8:01 p.m. – Massanari flies out to right center for two. No hot wife shot.

8:01 p.m. – Cerione swings at the 0-2, his bat flies into Fresno’s dugout. I’ll say it again. I love HDTV. Especially in slow motion.

8:03 p.m. – They show the Fresno dugout on the next pitch, as the entire team ducks under the net.

8:04 p.m. – They show it twice.

8:05 p.m. – Mike Patrick: “There’s nothing like baseball humor, right?”

8:06 p.m. – Cerione pushes the count to 3-2 after a headhunter. The payoff is chopped to Mendonca, who picks it nicely and fires it to first for the third out. Fatboy gets out of the sixth.

8:08 p.m. – Top of the seventh, Fresno is three innings away from history.

8:08 p.m. – Jordan Ribera pinch-hits for Jake Johnson at DH, as Weaver is still on the hill. Ribera charges it to right field but Olson catches it.

8:09 p.m. – 44,535 people voted in ESPN.com’s poll of tonight’s outcome. 69.3% picked Georgia.

8:10 p.m. – Danny Grubb digs in, 0-2 for the night. He flies out to left field.

8:11 p.m. – Top of the order with two outs, Danny Muno comes up. He smokes one to center for a nice looking single.

8:12 p.m. – Hedstrom bunts nicely to the third base side, but Weaver snatches, turns and fires to first in time by an inch. Still 6-0.

8:13 p.m. – Mike Patrick: “Fresno State would be THE LOWEST SEEDED TEAM IN THE NCAA TO WIN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. EVER. EVER. And ever is a long time.”

8:14 p.m. – Matt Cerione flies out to center for out number one.

8:15 p.m. – Joey Lewis flies out to first on the next pitch. Ten straight outs for Fatboy.

8:15 p.m. – Lyle Allen hits one to Muno at short, but he doesn’t lay down the glove and it skittles to left for Muno’s third error. Fatboy doesn’t look worried, but two pitches later, a wild pitch sends Allen to second, and two more pitches later places Ryan Peisel on first with Fatboy’s first walk.

8:16 p.m. – Matt Olson steps up with two out and two on for Fatboy. After the 1-1 count, Fatboy’s up to 111 pitches. Well, he only has two pitches, the fastball and the big curve. But from a lefty, it’s effective. Olson flies out to Hedstrom in center, as Georgia strands two more. Fatboy’s on fire.

8:23 p.m. – Erik Wetzel steps up first for Fresno, and quickly grounds out to second. I’m just wondering if I have a secret power. Every athlete I’ve ever spoken ill of before seeing what they can do ends up putting on a show.

8:25 p.m. – Steve Susdorf is hit in the elbow and advances to first after a quick checkup.

8:27 p.m. – Why was Shawn Chacon suspended from the Houston Astros?

8:29 p.m. – Alan Ahmady hits it sharply to the pitcher who throws it to second, but they can’t turn two. Runner on first for The Detweiler.

8:30 p.m. – The Detweiler just went 4-4. He smacks a single to right field on the first pitch which Matt Olson short hops. Runners on first and third.

8:31 p.m. – Alex McRee comes in to pitch for Georgia. Weaver’s night is done.

8:33 p.m. – Tommy Mendonca hasn’t got anything started tonight, and with an 0-2 count and two outs with two on, Mendonca hits it to deep right, but Olson snares it in.

8:37 p.m. – Gordon Beckham steps in for Georgia, and the shutout is over. He homers to deep right to tie LSU’s Matt Clark for the NCAA’s home run lead. Frankly, he looks like Matt Damon, but I won’t hold it against him.

8:38 p.m. – Rich Poythress flies out to first.

8:39 p.m. – Bryce Massanari flies out to center. Two down.

8:41 p.m. – Matt Cerione has taken his meds, but it hasn’t helped him to take strike three again. Fatboy’s line: 8 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 17 giant veins in his neck after screaming with joy.

8:42 p.m. – Rays: 15. Marlins: 1. Fantasy Points for Carl Crawford: Priceless.

8:45 p.m. – Nick Hom comes off the bench to smack a single into center. Trent Soares pinch hits for Hom.

8:46 p.m. – Danny Grubb is hitting .177 after his 0-3 night tonight. In this fourth at-bat, as Mike Patrick thanks the crew, who are all shown holding cameras pointed at each other, but none of them wave. That’s a professional crew.

8:48 p.m. – Soares takes off for second, and Lewis’s throw is perfect, but the slide kicks the ball out.

8:49 p.m. – Grubb gives himself up to second base, and with the pitcher covering, Soares takes third. One out.

8:50 p.m. – Top of the order, Danny Muno’s fifth at-bat after going 1-4 with three egregiously freshman errors. He takes a called strike three.

8:52 p.m. – Joshua Fields, the nation’s top closer and the Seattle Mariners’ 20th overall pick, comes in at the top of the ninth with two outs. He’s 18 for 18 in save opportunities this season, tied for first in the nation, but the manager’s giving him his due.

8:53 p.m. – Gavin Hedstrom is swinging at 95 mph cheese. Ground ball out to second. THREE OUTS AWAY.

8:54 p.m. – ESPN ain’t cutting to commercial.

8:55 p.m. – Clayton Allison comes in to close it out for Fresno, as Fatboy gets hugs and high fives from his teammates. 129 pitches, one memorable night.

8:58 p.m. – Joey Lewis hits a scorcher to right which takes a funny hop around Detweiler, giving Lewis a double. Mike Patrick remarks that the first mistake for Detweiler had to come at some time in Omaha.

8:59 p.m. – Robbie O’Bryan steps in to pinch hit, and takes the first three balls from Allison before the first strike call. Ball four is wide right, and Allison walks him to put runners on first and second. That’s all she wrote for Clayton Allison, and they go to Brandon Burke, the actual closer in lieu of the senior Allison, from the bullpen.

9:04 p.m. – Tonight is Burke’s 38th appearance, and he has 15 saves on the season. Adam Fuller pinch runs for Robbie O’Bryan, but a ground ball to Danny Muno induces a double play, making up for his horrible performance. His teammates are in shock.

9:05 p.m. – Ryan Peisel steps up with a runner on third, two outs in the bottom of the ninth. After working the count to 2-2, Burke fist pumps after ball three, thinking it to be a strike. The next pitch is a ball, and Peisel walks to first.

9:06 p.m. – Matt Olson steps up with runners on first and third, but on the first pitch, he flies out to – who else? – Detweiler. Fresno State University wins the 2008 College World Series. He shoves the ball in his pocket and runs to the middle of the field for the Dog Pile.

The championship shirts are flying out, the tears are flowing, and the one thing we knew would happen going into tonight’s game came true.

The Bulldogs are National Champions.

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[expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted], and [expletive deleted]

It's not everyday you lose a hero.

This past Sunday, the world lost a true American patriot.

George Carlin, the man responsible for Joe Pesci worship, how to get more mileage out of your basic time-traveling telephone booth and the "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television," died this past Sunday at the age of 71.

Now, I won't begin to claim that Carlin meant anymore to me than, say, Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Lewis Black or Chris Rock, just to name a few. Saying that I lost someone I loved as deeply as good old George is the same pretentious bullshit worthy of a nice "BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!!" from the dearly departed himself.

If you're reading this blog, it means you have the technology to look up the man's work and figure out just why he's an inspiration to millions. I don't have time to Google your shit for you.

My first experience with George Carlin was as Rufus in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. This wasn't much exposure, I know. But after I saw that movie, from the moment he first sets strange things afoot at the Circle K, to his mind-bending guitar riff towards the end, I realized one simple fact:

Don't fuck with anyone named Rufus.

It all changed when my mom bought me a copy of Napalm and Silly Putty. It came out when I was 14, but for some strange reason, I wanted it to be the book that taught me how to read. His random thoughts had echoed mine so similarly up to that point. I, too, think white people killed the blues, but I didn't know if it made me unique or crazy.

Luckily, because Carlin said it first, it made me neither.

From then, the innocent devolution of my innocence remained in the hands of Carlin. Thinking about how badly we need him today, though, only makes his death that much more tragic. It came the Sunday after Sean Hannity promoted his new ad for his program Hannity's America: "The Greatest Nation on Earth."

It's in this festering example of "journalism" that makes Carlin's passing that much more tragic. Who else could deliver the correct kind of retort to that ignorant excuse of a pundit. Who else would take Hannity on? Well, everyone else. The stupid make for an easy target. Why do you think it's so easy to become a comedian right now? President Bush has given every newcomer years and years of material.

But even the most pious can find humor in whatever Carlin does. His mark, in my opinion, was cemented in his shortening of the Ten Commandments. We don't need ten. We never needed ten. His shortened three are three that everyone can live by:

"Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie."

"Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you."

"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."

Simple, honest, direct language. It was Carlin's mission in life, and that legacy lives on after his death. There are, and will be, a legion of millions who wish they were him, millions more who wished they were with him, and millions upon millions more who hope he is burning in Hell. And I'm a proud part of the latter group.

I just hope I'm condemned to Hell too. At least then I get to meet him.

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Thirty lessons learned throughout this semester

1. To fail is human; to win, divine.

2. The difference between paying for a Blimpie sub at the Student Union with a meal transfer and being forced to pay with other means is bacon and heat.

3. I need to take typing classes. Some people talk way too fast for me to get it all in my blog.

4. A pancake made out of biscuit batter lying in a shelf for a week never is, was or will be a pancake.

5. "If you had food and could give it only to a starving dog or a homeless person, which would you choose?" This question has the power to start a 2 1/2-hour long debate, which ends by giving reasons why it's better to eat a dog with another human being when stranded in a rowboat.


6. Something doesn't sit right about the Nintendo Wii. It's too addictive, and I think it's trying to kill us all.

7. Bacon and eggs can make any situation better.

8. Beware any room where everyone is sitting in a circle looking at each other but not talking.

9. Ryan Perrilloux really was the University's Britney Spears. We could've had something good together, Ryan. Oh well.

10. "Ready or Not" by The Fugees should be the new Alma Mater. If that song blasted across campus from the Memorial Tower at noon, everyone would have a better day and be in the mood to get things done.

11. If you scream "L-S-U!" in the middle of the Quad at the end of the Alma Mater, you look really stupid.

12. The Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., could've been the next Martin Luther King Jr., but I still wonder how King would've fared against today's punditry. What would King have given as advice to Alan Colmes? Would he have to keep chanting "non-violent" while on Bill O'Reilly? What would he make of John Roberts' magic touch screen board?

13. Ballin' is a habit.

14. High-definition television is both a gift and a curse. It can be brilliant, especially for sporting events and old movies, but it makes Alex Trebek even more pretentious.

15. Bikes will never be prohibited from the Quad. I have a bicycle, and literally nothing will stop me from riding through the Quad. It's a question of personal responsibility, making common ground attainable if people can talk about it. Additional bike racks were put on the sides of Middleton Library, but people will still park on trees, posts, rails and anything else their locks fit.

16. Facility Services has a metal detector. I recently lost my high school ring in some bushes while throwing a frisbee. After an hour of searching, it was nowhere to be found. I've accepted this as a sign to let go.

17. Michael Sandel, George Orwell, Plato and Aristotle can change someone's life.

18. Fox News will always be on in the Health Center. I'll let that go.

19. The devil is here on Earth. Her name is Miley Cyrus.

20. SG push cards are just as flammable as any other paper.

21. Apparently, it's worse to be considered "elitist" than to be "unelectable."

22. Car washes are elitist.

23. The Boondocks was secretly modeled after my life. It's also the best show on television. Riley and Huey Freeman could have just as easily been my younger brother Andrew and me, respectively.

24. If I bought a bag of oranges and put them in my refrigerator, there is a 70/30 chance I'll leave them in there for four months.

25. Pointing out the ignorance of what happens at sorority functions is a one-way ticket to being called "the biggest racist on campus" and to be told to "go back to Congo" - even if you've never been there.

26. The New Orleans Hornets are going to the NBA Finals this year. It's going to happen.

27. The Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series this year. Yes, it's going to happen.

28. Random sports predictions don't necessarily make the best of columns.

29. People should be focusing on making each other's lives better. It's not enough to say "care for your fellow man." You must actually reach out. I've been critical in the past of many things - some without proper justification. But humility is a virtue. People make mistakes, and more often than not, silence is golden.

30. The Daily Reveille has been a large part of my life this year, and I can't stress enough what a privilege it has been and is to be a columnist. To all those leaving the University this year, good luck in whatever you do because we're all in it together.

Many happy wishes, and enjoy the summer.

Originally published in The Daily Reveille...

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SG members' costumes feature blackface, offend

Oaks and Tusa

I've had enough.

There comes a point where a person can no longer make excuses for the idiocy of their past or try to cover up relatively good intentions masked under a web of ignorance.

To think, Kristen Oaks fell 13 votes short of becoming Student Government vice president.

Not to say anything about her qualifications, which if you've ever spoken to her, sound about the same as any other person running for Student Government:

I'm really passionate about being organized and helping achieve the best interests of the student body. I really think I'm most qualified because I'm dedicated, I come up with new ideas and I really want to make a difference.

Now I'm an elected official.

I've heard some version of this song-and-dance for the past four months now, which sound slightly like comments made by someone fresh off a lobotomy.

But a lobotomy would prevent someone from either coming up with or actually fulfilling a desire to dress in blackface.

On April 19, a Kappa Delta sorority function entitled "Opposites Attract" featured two notable celebrity guests - Kristen Oaks as a pregnant Heidi Klum and newly-elected College of Basic Sciences College Council Secretary Nick Tusa, in blackface to emulate Klum's husband Seal.

The pictures - one featuring Tusa and Oaks, the other featuring Tusa with a woman named "Lois" - have offended many students including African and African-American studies major and former SG Senator John Collins.

In an e-mail featuring the two pictures, Collins expressed his disgust with Oaks and Tusa's actions.

"Typically, I would not be bothered by what my fellow classmates do," Collins wrote. "But these pictures are rather disturbing. Ms. Oaks is pictured as if she's pregnant, with Mr. Tusa to her extreme left. Both seem very happy and are smiling broadly.

"While Ms. Oaks seemingly did nothing wrong, aside from showing extremely poor judgment," Collins continued, "Mr. Tusa's actions are in very poor taste. I am offended and I am sure lots of other students on campus, from any cultural, racial, ethnic or religious background should be."

People figured I wanted to address this issue, as many are unfamiliar with the inflammatory nature of blackface, whether satirical or otherwise.

This has happened to me before, as the Student Senate debated President Colorado Robertson's Student Athletic Advisory Council, questioning one spot on the council reserved for a "minority student representative." The Senate looked around the room to find a minority who would take issue. When all 50 heads in the room turned to me - the only black person in the Atchafalaya Room - I waved my hands in exasperation.

It doesn't bother me when I am called to address these issues, whether racist or, in this case, ignorant beyond ignorant.

Blackface has its roots - no pun intended - in minstrel shows of the past. "Stereotypes embodied in the stock characters of blackface minstrelsy played a significant role in cementing and proliferating racist images, attitudes and perceptions worldwide," according to John Strausbaugh, author of "Black Like You: Blackface, Whiteface, Insult and Imitation in American Popular Culture."

As attitudes toward black people shifted throughout time, the prominence of blackface dissipated quickly. Soon, reputable black entertainers, including Sammy Davis Jr., Whoopi Goldberg and Damon Wayans dressed in blackface to educate and to pay homage. Blackface was never eliminated from society, as Saturday Night Live actors Darrell Hammond and Fred Armisen regularly apply makeup to emulate Jesse Jackson and Barack Obama.

But Hammond and Armisen are actors. Oaks and Tusa are elected student officials, and their display, however innocent, is insulting on many levels.

My main problem is the party's theme, "Opposite's Attract." Obviously, Oaks and Tusa have no problem perpetuating the stereotypical view of white and black people as opposites. Their combined costume seems to scream white and black people come from "opposite" worlds, and when they "attract," white girls get pregnant.

Their costumes weren't racist, and I can't stress that enough. Their costumes were merely mind-numbingly stupid.

I questioned both Oaks and Tusa on this issue, and both replied, via e-mail, that they decided to pick a couple they admired.

"In no way was I trying to offend or make fun of anyone," Tusa said.

Oaks was slightly wordier.

"We DID NOT choose the couple because we wished to make fun of them, or because we thought it would be humorous," Oaks said. "We simply wanted to dress as people we admired. When we realized the impact that our portrayal created, we were and are appalled. Never was there in any way a slight intended to the couple or to any race.

"I chose to be Heidi because I have always admired her work and value a lot of the same things she does. She obviously embraces diversity, and that is one of the many qualities I respect in her. They are two very talented, attractive people: qualities we wished to portray."

Well, Madame Oaks, because you obviously respect Heidi Klum because "she obviously embraces diversity," I only have one question.

What are you doing Friday night?

I don't even need makeup.

Originally published in The Daily Reveille...

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LiveBlog: 4/23 LSU Student Government Senate Meeting

6:39 p.m. - Eric W. Freeman, Jr., here in the Atchafalaya Room of the LSU Student Union ready to blog the khakis off this tire iron. Still not sure what that means. Right now, we listen to the induction of three new senators and the reading of the SG Code of Conduct.

Full Agenda

6:43 p.m. - Tonight under Unfinished Business, we’ve got 35 Executive Orders, four Legislative Orders, the Executive Budget, 38 Concurrent Resolutions and a whole host of elections. We’re going to be here for a while.

Groovin' on the Grounds gets whacked

6:47 p.m. - A banner day once again. The leader of Students on Target is expressing her dismay with the removal of Groovin’ on the Grounds as Students on Target’s production. She likens her experience in planning Groovin’ on the Grounds to a dream, but she says, “I’ve worked hard on something people told me I couldn’t ever do and with the removal of Students on Target I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the back … for eleven years, Groovin’ on the Grounds has been a good time not wasted.” She talked to President Robertson about the subject, and he said the program group would be reformed.

Debate sends thanks

6:54 p.m. - A representative of the Speech and Debate team and former SG senator comes back to thank the body for allowing them to compete in the NFA, the national debate tournament in Nashville. SG gave $10,000 to the debate team for their competition, and notable shout out goes to Ginger Gibson for getting 24th in the country in blind debate. Kudos!

Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge

6:56 p.m. - Prestridge was the Senate representative on the Media Board, the board which elects editors for student media. An election will be held tonight in the meeting for the new representative. Congratulations to Kyle Whitfield for becoming the Daily Reveille’s new editor-in-chief.

Sitting with the body?

6:59 p.m. - This past semester, Speaker Robertson and Speaker Pro Tem Clark sat next to each other in the table in the front. Tonight, Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge is sitting front and center of the Senate body and not at the front table. I don’t get it.

Sen. Andrew Remson

7:00 p.m. - Sen. Andrew Remson says farewell to the Senate body, and leaves the body with three big thoughts. “Look around you senators. The people you will work with in the Senate, you will treasure those friendships forever.” I thought it was inspirational, until he unveils the fact that, because of former senators, he gets to meet Sen. John McCain and got tickets to this weekend’s NFL Draft. I’m sure Sen. Remson treasures his Senate time just fine. His second point is to accomplish much. His third, “Student Government has a bad name sometimes … but the worst thing an organization can do is to not allow someone to serve.” He thanks everyone he worked with and will remember this work fondly as he offers his resignation.

Chief Justice Mark Hill

7:05 p.m. - The new justices are meeting in the Orleans Room of the Student Union, and Chief Justice Hill makes his farewell as chief justice, but is a little too emphatic about his desire to leave.

President Colorado Robertson

7:06 p.m. - President Robertson talked with Michaela from Students on Target, saying “she did an excellent job planning Groovin’ on the Grounds, and we hope to make Groovin’ on the Grounds, while not as great as hers, will be up to par.” The plan for SOT is to move it out of SG and combine this into the Programming Committee, including the Union Planning Committee. The relationship and structure of SOT will change, but Groovin’ on the Grounds isn’t leaving.

He thanks the Rules Committee for the eight hours spent yesterday going through the Executive Charter. The committee approved all of President Robertson’s Executive Orders for appointments except for two, which the body will discuss tonight. One President Robertson defends is Laura Boggs for Executive Director, whose job is to organize the office.

Ole Miss Rivalry

7:14 p.m. - Interim Director of Athletics Andrew Remson talks about the LSU-Ole Miss rivalry, as a trophy will now be presented for the winner of the game. The senators voted on the new name of the Rivalry Game, and 15 names will be narrowed down to five, and the top five from both schools will be compared as to what the name will be. LSU and Ole Miss will play in Tiger Stadium in November, making LSU the original host of the game and trophy.

7:18 p.m. - Remson announces to the body that Natalie Messina won News Editor. The senators clap loudly.

Temporary Chairman Sellers

7:20 p.m. - Two people were absent from the Temporary Committee on Finance, and the group discussed the Executive Budget.

Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge, vol. II

7:23 p.m. - As Temporary Rules Committee Chairman, Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge and his group stayed for eight hours looking over appointments. Concerns include Jude Burnet, Kaitlyn Derenbecker and Travis Andrews, who received a tie-breaking “aye” vote from Chairman Prestridge for Assistant Director of Student Involvement. He also brought up Laura Boggs, about whom the resolution had no action taken.

Student Athletic Advisory Council

7:27 p.m. - Executive Order No. 30 will create the Student Athletic Advisory Council, which will work with both Director of Athletics Remson and the Department of Athletics. “Hopefully they will help poor attendance at things like swimming, tennis and soccer,” said President Robertson.

Debate

7:30 p.m. - After speaking privately behind the podium with President Robertson, Sen. Andy Palermo walks back to his seat.

7:31 p.m. - Sen. Kyle Chandler comes in to bring up the 10th position in the Council, “One (1) Minority student representative appointed by the Student Body President.” Sen. Chandler argues that he “wants everybody to be represented.” President Robertson agrees, and moves to add a fifth student delegate. How interesting of the president to ask a minority-less Senate to get rid of the “Minority student representative” from the Student Athletic Advisory Council. President Robertson says he already has selections for the council. I don’t know if this is misguided political correctness or blatantly ignorant sarcasm.

7:35 p.m. - Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge discusses in questioning with President Robertson about the definition of “minority,” being taken to mean “age, religion, sexual orientation…” and the like.

7:36 p.m. - It passes with abstentions.

Robert Starnes

7:36 p.m. - Robert Starnes is now up for a spot on the Student Fee Oversight Committee, and I know Robert. That’s all I’ll say about that. He previously applied for University Court, Trial Judge and now Student Fee Oversight Committee.

7:37 p.m. - Robert Starnes is enrolled.

Taylor Craft!

7:38 p.m. - Taylor Craft, leader of the “Do Nothing” ticket, has been appointed, with one nay and some abstentions, to the Student Fee Oversight Committee. Really. Do Nothing is now in charge of doing something.

Mark Hill Revisited

7:39 p.m. - Everyone’s anxious, so Chief Justice Hill is asking the Senate to “hurry up so we can appoint these judges.” Sen. Parker Wishik moves to bring up SGCR No. 34 which will appoint Sean Horridge to Trial Judge.

7:42 p.m. - Sean Horridge speaks about doing everything in his power to hear all complaints of the student body and exercise the correct judgment in decisions.

7:43 p.m. - Justice Horridge is enrolled. Ryan Hudson, Yunan Yuan, Mykell Clem and Trey Perry are all about to be sworn in, and I’ll be back in a minute.

An anonymous source

7:51 p.m. - I just spoke to an anonymous source who told me the Administration doesn’t recognize the existence of either the Student Fee Oversight Committee or the Student Required Fee Committee. Robert Starnes, a former “Change” ticket member who got the least amount of votes out of anyone in the 2007 Spring Elections, and Taylor Craft, leader of this past Spring’s “Do Nothing” ticket, were essentially appointed to a “Do Nothing” committee which will not be called by the Administration.

Appointments

7:53 p.m. - During this time, Holden Wright was also appointed to the Student Fee Oversight Committee. Andy Palermo, Joe Curry and Chris Young were appointed to the Student Tech Fee Committee. John Collins, Austin Davies, Lytina Winbush (great name) and Taylor Matthews to the Programming, Support, and Initiatives Fund Committee. Zach Barrileau and Laura Gedicke went to the Organizational Relief Fund Committee.

Will Harris

7:56 p.m. - Will Harris became the first student to ever chair the Media Board, and is “running” as an appointment to the Media Board. He “brings the true voice of student opinion on the Media Board.” Basically, Will knows a lot of people.

7:58 p.m. - Will gets it unanimously.

Contracted Auxiliary Services Committee

7:58 p.m. - The first candidate is Cole Avery. He is appointed unanimously.

7:59 p.m. - Madeleine Golson becomes the second. The senators sound bored with their unanimous vote.

7:59 p.m. - Joshery Dubois is the third, again unanimously.

Student Required Fee Committee

8:00 p.m. - Brett Jackson is the first candidate, and is given a question as to whether or not fees can be assessed without bias toward the administration. According to my source, the Administration “recognizes their irrelevance,” but we go on with this proceeding anyway.

8:01 p.m. - Brett Jackson is accepted unanimously.

Mark Hill ReRevisited

8:02 p.m. - Chief Justice Hill is truthfully sad about leaving, but congratulates Chris Cummings, the new chief justice of University Court. “Thank you all, I wish you well.”

John Volte

8:04 p.m. - John Volte is appointed unanimously to the Student Required Fee Committee.

University Recreation Advisory Council

8:04 p.m. - Clark Lanius, already serving, is appointed unanimously to the council, again.

Student Athletic Advisory Council

8:05 p.m. - Mark Slavich, unanimously.

8:06 p.m. - Josh Howard, unanimously with one abstention.

8:07 p.m. - Kelly Landry, unanimously.

8:07 p.m. - Maggie Placer, unanimously.

Traditions Council

8:07 p.m. - Former vice president Josh King created and appointed this council, and is now appointed to the council, you guessed it, unanimously.

President's Cabinet

8:08 p.m. - Madeleine Peters, unanimously.

8:09 p.m. - Cody Cadella, “President of the Rugby Club,” unanimously.

8:10 p.m. - Susan Reiners, “great girl,” unanimously.

8:10 p.m. - John Collins, in addition to PSIF committee, unanimously.

Executive Aides

8:11 p.m. - The new doors will stay open on the first floor, being the first thing the students see.

8:12 p.m. - Drew Marento, handles customer service training at Best Buy. “Hopefully he’ll be able to bring the organizational skill from Best Buy here. Unanimous.

8:13 p.m. - Aly Neel, unanimously.

8:14 p.m. - Melissa Guidry, unanimously.

8:15 p.m. - Johnnetria Weakley, unanimously.

8:15 p.m. - Cali Meyer, “Same, ditto” from Robertson, unanimously.

Legislative Aide

8:16 p.m. - Speaker Clark’s turn. Brett Jackson, unanimously.

8:17 p.m. - Devin Ricci, unanimously.

8:18 p.m. - Lauren Breeland, unanimously.

There will be more appointments next semester.

Executive Budget

8:18 p.m. - Student Government Bill No. 1 is the Executive Budget, written by Sens. Palermo, Sellers and Bonvillain. College council budgets went down because of a decrease in enrollment. This $109,672 is provided by $2.20 from every student in the Fall of ‘08 and the Spring of ‘09. President Robertson presses for an increase in spending for promotion of Student Government events, which moves money to the Executive Branch.

8:26 p.m. - A question comes up about “telephone services,” and last year, telephone services went from $6,600 under Alsfeld to $4,800 under Robertson. They have to pay for the phone lines in the Executive Office. Also, the Office Manager, known as “Administrative Coordinator,” costs $15,000, which goes to software and a person’s salary. President Robertson believes a trained professional will be needed to process documentation, make purchase orders and every other facet of allotting money and making sure the money pays for what it should.

8:29 p.m. - Sen. Amanda Gammon asks about the surplus money that was supposed to roll over. President Robertson says this money is the operational budget, and is paid for with student enrollment and fees next year.

Debate

8:33 p.m. - $1,500 of the Legislative Branch’s Constituent Notifications were moved last night to the Executive Branch’s Executive Notifications. A motion to amend $500 back to the Legislative Branch was made by Sen. McMann, deemed hostile by Sen. Palermo. Debate now starts about moving this money.

8:35 p.m. - Sen. Chandler asks a question, “Aren’t the college councils supposed to do this dirty work before this gets to the Senate?” Way to take responsibility.

8:35 p.m. - Speaker Clark speaks about vacancies in the college councils, saying he will try to fill vacant positions in the college councils as best as he can.

8:36 p.m. - Recess for one minute.

The Budget passes...

8:48 p.m. - See subject.

Resume of Laura Boggs

8:49 p.m. - Laura Boggs runs through her entire high school resume, including joining a sorority and Tiger Athletic Foundation, as well as Christ the King Catholic Center. I feel like I know this girl’s life story, as President Robertson’s ultimate seller feels she must tell us everything about her. She runs six or seven different things, as she runs for Executive Director.

Debate

8:52 p.m. - Sen. Kelli Eason pushes the senators to vote for Laura. The two have known each other for about a year, working together in the Office of Admissions. Laura’s age is brought up, as she is 21, older than most senators. “Where is our state going? Bobby Jindal is 36. Where is our country going? Barack Obama is the front runner and he’s in his 40’s … please vote for her.

8:54 p.m. - Sen. Chandler was on the Temporary Rules Committee, and if Micah West decides to leave, Sen. Chandler brings up whether or not she can handle this responsibility. “You did a lot in high school, but we wanted to know whether or not she could handle this on a much larger scale.”

8:55 p.m. - Sen. Eason asks whether or not Sen. Chandler knows that her participation of state rally is “state-wide.” Sen. Chandler speaks instead about the transition from high school to college.

8:57 p.m. - Sen. Sellers asks whether or not she Boggs could pick up the slack if Chief of Staff Micah West were to resign. Sen. Chandler says that he personally hasn’t interviewed anyone personally, and cannot answer.

8:59 p.m. - A flurry of controversy sparks over possible replacements, starting from Sen. Jackson. Ridiculous banter and threats of lawsuits fly, quicker than I can blog.

9:01 p.m. - A senator asks, “Can we get past this technical jargon and get back to talking about Laura?” One man in the back claps.

9:02 p.m. - Sen. Wishik remarks on Laura’s impeccable work on the Foundation ticket, which arises a question regarding the relevance of party affiliation. Sen. Wishik implores the body to vote for her, citing her service record during her time.

9:04 p.m. - Questions about affiliations with Micah and the Foundation ticket distract the body from voting on Laura. Again.

9:05 p.m. - The anti-technical jargon senator knows Laura and cites her two best assets, “communication skills and organization. That’s exactly what this position needs. I think she’s the best qualified.”

9:06 p.m. - Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge speaks directly to Sen. Jackson about the Rules Committee and lack of her presence at the Executive Session. Speaker Clark bangs the gavel to end the nonsense, and Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge moves favorable passage.

9:08 p.m. - With a healthy number of abstentions, Laura Boggs is appointed Executive Director.

Executive Assistant to the President

9:08 p.m. - J.P. Abon served as an appointed senator this past semester, and he advocates transparency, trying to be a voice for students. “I came up here and resonated their voice and opinions, and I plan to do that with the college councils.” His job would entail organization for the president, as “he’s kind of a messy guy.”

9:10 p.m. - Abon: “I’ve been advised to not say anything sad or demoralizing as it will make Ben Clark cry.”

9:11 p.m. - After a unanimous vote, Abon spins in a circle before exiting.

Executive Assistant to the Vice President

9:11 p.m. - Daniel Marsh “revolves around the principles of we.” He is brief in his comments, but is approved unanimously.

Webmaster

9:12 p.m. - Stephen Martinez. “I rock, and when I communicate, I roar.” Flurry of applause.

9:13 p.m. - Unanimous.

Press Secretary

9:14 p.m. - Ellen Carmichael. Unanimous.

Director of Finance

9:16 p.m. - Sarah Nowacki. They’re all talking about how “awesome” everyone is going to be. There’s no chance of anyone getting denied from anything.

9:18 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Finance

9:19 p.m. - Now this blog is starting to serve the role of angry stenographer.

9:20 p.m. - Phoebe Hathorn.

9:20 p.m. - Unanimous.

Director of Academics

9:21 p.m. - Bryce Addison wants to work more with computer-based testing, improve online accessibility, including problems from “Easy Streets.” He wants the degree audit to be more interactive and accessible, thinking about the W policy, and others.

9:21 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Academics

9:22 p.m. - Jonathan Walker.

9:22 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Academics again

9:23 p.m. - Lorra Ashley Bryant.

9:23 p.m. - Unanimous.

President Robertson

9:24 p.m. - He wanted to address everyone and to keep their comments as brief as possible. But, “ask as many questions as you want. Question them thoroughly. That’s what this body is for.”

OH REALLY?!?!?

WOW!

I haven’t heard anyone question anyone since Laura Boggs.

Director of Athletics

9:26 p.m. - Andrew Remson.

9:27 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Athletics

9:27 p.m. - Molly Hall.

9:27 p.m. - No questions.

9:27 p.m. - No debate.

9:27 p.m. - Unanimous.

Director of Campus Development

9:28 p.m. - Corey Graham.

9:28 p.m. - No questions.

9:28 p.m. - No debate.

9:28 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Campus Development

9:29 p.m. - Cole Avery.

9:29 p.m. - No questions.

9:29 p.m. - No debate.

9:29 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Campus Development

9:29 p.m. - Kaitlyn Derenbecker brings up her high school information.

9:29 p.m. - No questions.

9:29 p.m. - No debate.

9:30 p.m. - Unanimous.

Director of External Affairs

9:30 p.m. - James Zitzmann.

9:30 p.m. - No questions.

9:30 p.m. - No debate.

9:30 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of External Affairs

9:31 p.m. - Jude Burnet.

9:31 p.m. - No questions.

9:31 p.m. - Sen. Palermo comes up for debate, but he voted in the negative yesterday in committee. He thinks Jude is a great person, and wanted to clarify his vote.

9:32 p.m. - Sen. Edwards has known Jude for a year, and would do great.

9:32 p.m. - Unanimous, yet woeful.

Assistant Director of External Affairs

9:33 p.m. - Brittney Lombas.

9:33 p.m. - No questions.

9:33 p.m. - No debate.

9:33 p.m. - Unanimous. One abstention.

Director of Transportation

9:34 p.m. - Brandon Boyd.

9:34 p.m. - No questions.

9:34 p.m. - No debate.

9:34 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Transportation

9:35 p.m. - Taylor LeMay.

9:35 p.m. - I think you get the gist. If the candidates talk, they give stats from the high schools, the Senate will ask no questions, there will be no debate, and the vote will be unanimous with maybe an optional abstention here and there. We get it.

9:37 p.m. - The Administration could give me the power to appoint these people, so the senators and directors and assistants could go home and study for finals instead of meeting and approving various appointments.

9:39 p.m. - They’re actually asking this guy questions relating to what he said in his introduction. Everyone else kept their comments brief, saying they’re “looking forward to working for the University.” LeMay said way too much.

9:40 p.m. - Sen. Gammon asks whether he will continue to work for Tiger TV, and he doesn’t know. Questions about his promptness for meetings comes up, but he assures “I never really missed anything.”

9:41 p.m. - No debate.

9:42 p.m. - Unanimous with various abstentions.

Director of Student Assistance

9:42 p.m. - Derek Killebrew. Talked up by President Robertson.

9:42 p.m. - No questions.

9:42 p.m. - No debate.

9:42 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Student Assistance

9:43 p.m. - Nita Clark.

9:43 p.m. - No questions.

9:43 p.m. - No debate.

9:43 p.m. - Unanimous.

Commissioner of Elections

9:44 p.m. - Jeffrey Noel.

9:44 p.m. - Sen. Wishik asks about a meeting over the summer, and Noel works in the bookstore and will be here all summer.

9:45 p.m. - No debate.

9:45 p.m. - Unanimous.

More unanimity

9:53 p.m. - Katie Cicardo.

9:53 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Student Involvement

9:53 p.m. - Travis Andrews.

9:53 p.m. - Sen. Chandler votes no because he says Travis cares more about Exec Staff than Legislative. “He strives to do something bigger and really doesn’t care much about Senate.”

9:54 p.m. - He’s baraged by questions about qualifications, saying, “I think he’s qualified, but my personal opinion is that he should not be ambivalent to the Senate while pursuing an office of that much power.”

9:55 p.m. - Sen. Meghan Hanna, you don’t think I have Facebook? I know this is boring, but if you’d rather update your Facebook status instead of pay attention to the meeting, you should leave.

Assistant Director Andrews?

9:57 p.m. - Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge and Sen. Edwards support Andrews, saying, “we shouldn’t hold it against him that he left Senate for something better. I don’t think we should hold that against him.”

10:00 p.m. - Unanimous with various abstentions.

Assistant Director of Student Involvement

10:00 p.m. - Brittany Smith. Freshman Leadership Council. Delta Sigma Phi. Very, VERY, blonde.

10:01 p.m. - Sen. Wishik points out the importance of FLC.

10:02 p.m. - Unanimous.

10:04 p.m. - Sen. Gammon, sitting next to me, decides not to vote.

Assistant Director of Student Involvement

10:05 p.m. - Iftekhar Rouf. My old pal Ifti.

10:05 p.m. - One question.

10:06 p.m. - Sen. Eason decided to stand behind me. She sat earlier all the way across the room, “because Sen. Wishik made me.” She was against the gun resolution from last week, and is my girl.

10:06 p.m. - No debate.

10:07 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Student Involvement

10:07 p.m. - Denise Dupree. Freshman in political science. The senate is talking amongst themselves quietly while Dupree talks, showing a serious lack of respect.

10:07 p.m. - No questions as some members text.

10:08 p.m. - No debate.

10:08 p.m. - Unanimous.

Assistant Director of Student Involvement

10:08 p.m. - Tyler Abadie. President Robertson talks him up.

10:09 p.m. - No questions.

10:09 p.m. - No debate.

10:09 p.m. - Unanimous.

Election Board

10:09 p.m. - Emmy Gill.

10:10 p.m. - No questions.

10:10 p.m. - No debate.

10:10 p.m. - Unanimous with one abstention.

Election Board

10:10 p.m. - Jordan Milazzo.

10:11 p.m. - No questions.

10:11 p.m. - No debate.

10:11 p.m. - Unanimous.

Election Board

10:11 p.m. - Kristin Davis. She thanks the body for “letting me be here tonight.” Well, it’s the Student Government. All students are invited. She’s a Delta Zeta, by the way.

10:13 p.m. - No questions.

10:13 p.m. - No debate.

10:13 p.m. - Unanimous.

Standing Committees

10:13 p.m. - Speaker Clark’s Committee Appointments.

10:14 p.m. - No questions.

10:14 p.m. - No debate.

10:14 p.m. - Unanimous.

Election for Secretary

10:15 p.m. - Secretary Emily Chambers is nominated for Secretary, and is the only one nominated. Speaker Clark says the position was advertised, but the potentials couldn’t apply and just had to know to be here tonight.

10:17 p.m. - Chambers is the only applicant, and the applicant for undersecretary was the only one either, so both are approved by acclimation.

Media Board

10:19 p.m. - Four-way battle: Meghan Hanna, Parker Wishik, Brett Jackson and Melissa Hart. I asked Sen. Hart over to ask her name, which she informed me before shaking my hand harder than some men I know.

Bottom line, I’ll consider the history of this voting body, as Hart and Wishik are both new, and Brett Jackson has lost a lot races. I’ll predict Sen. Hanna wins it.

10:21 p.m. - Hanna is in a sorority. Hart is a freshman. Hart follows every “freshman sorority girl” stereotype, without the blonde hair.

10:22 p.m. - Jackson begins by saying he has no Mass Com experience, but that’s why this qualifies him, as he is “an informed student, uninformed with Mass Com.” Sen. Sellers asks what Media Board does, which Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge steps in to qualify.

10:23 p.m. - Donald Hodge gets on my nerves sometimes. He’s sitting next to me right now, gloating because he doesn’t have to blog.

10:25 p.m. - Debate has been limited to two minutes. The Senate only has 20 minutes until they get kicked out of the room. People are getting uppity about time limits and inferences.

10:26 p.m. - Sen. Wishik has a direct relationship with Student Media, and cites people he works with and branches to work with. After all, he was just Director of Communications. “I know how these things work.”

10:28 p.m. - Without debate, it goes straight to a vote.

And the winner is...

10:29 p.m. - Instead of debating the issues, multiple people have expressed their desire to hurry up so the Senate won’t have to meet again.
10:31 p.m. - There’s a runoff between Hanna and Wishik. Sen. Megan Blanco turns to me and says, “Hanna? I think I just threw up a bit in my throat.”

And the winner is...

10:33 p.m. - Sen. Blanco was right. The winner is Parker Wishik.

Summer Planning Committee

10:35 p.m. - Now they’re getting lazy. They want to get people out of here so bad, four committee elections have been moved to the fall semester. Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge calls “division” on the vote, which means the senators must stand to vote instead of saying “aye.”

10:37 p.m. - It passes.

Petitions, Memorials, and other Communications

10:37 p.m. - Sen. Megan Blanco offers her goodbye. She has to make it quick, but she has also met some “egotistical, self-gratifying people.” She asks the body to ask their constituents what they want. She’s done this in front of class. “Don’t be afraid to stand up.” She offers a brief, yet heartfelt goodbye, right before insulting me to my face. Thanks for ruining it, and good riddance. “Please work for the students.”

She should try first. I introduced Sen. Blanco to five of her “constituents” in the College of Arts and Sciences. Chit-chat breaks out, forcing Anna Dearmon to scream at everyone to quiet down.

10:40 p.m. - Speaker Pro Tem Prestridge wanted to thank the body for hearing every resolution, but “as senators, it’s our job to question … don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. We do have a backbone.” Really?!?

10:43 p.m. - Sen. Hanna thanks the new senators for listening to the candidates for today’s appointments. People keep reading my blog. Sen. Hanna says “I have some gum for you if you want to get that throw up taste out of your mouth.” Sen. Blanco replies, “I already do.” Hee hee, I started drama because people can’t pay attention to the meeting in favor of this blog. All of you should be ashamed.

10:45 p.m. - Sen. Wishik thanks the Senate for electing him to Media Board. He addresses the wasted time on points of information and clarification that don’t have anything to do with topics of discussions.

Adjourn

10:46 p.m. - We’re done. Good riddance SG. I hope your summer retreat introduces you all to tact. Freeman out.


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