Take a second to think about Christmas. Think about the millions of people worldwide who hang their stockings on the fireplace, prepare eggnog milk shakes and dance and sing the songs millions of Christians have been singing for hundreds of years. Now, think about someone singing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."
Do you want to gag a little bit?
If you don't, your vision has been clouded. I thought Christmas actually meant something. I pictured a world in which people of all races and ethnicities come together to share in the love of simply being together to celebrate the end of another year. As I do not work for Halliburton, Heinz or Honda, I can see the difference.
As a general rule, I try to filter Jesus from capitalism, but sometimes examples are too blatant to ignore. At Jesus' birth, the three wise men presented their gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh, but they didn't come in hybrids. Throughout this month, we will be reminded that Jesus was born in front of a Honda dealership while Santa stands 50 feet away peering over those driving on Florida Boulevard, categorizing the hopeless traffic into columns of naughty and nice.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Christians delight in little boxes that go vroom
Friday, November 30, 2007
Big Easy snubbed in favor of federal weed Mecca
First, let's all take a breath together. We made it through.
Today marks the official close of the 2007 Atlantic hurricane season, finishing with six hurricanes as opposed to the nine originally predicted by William M. Gray and his associates at Colorado State University. This is the second year in a row in which the number of predicted hurricanes outweighed the actual amount.
Gray, along with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, famously under-predicted on every level in 2005, forecasting 15 tropical storms and eight hurricanes, four of which were predicted to be major storms. There were actually 28 tropical storms, 15 hurricanes - seven major - and a major American city still mending her shattered soul. New Orleanians are still waiting for someone to direct major policy changes in order to repair the wound Hurricane Katrina inflicted.
That someone, however, will not be one of the two candidates for president.
On Nov. 19, the Commission on Presidential Debates announced its collegiate hosts for debates in 2008: The University of Mississippi in Oxford, Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn., and Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. The first debate will center on domestic policy, saving foreign policy for Hempstead after a town hall meets YouTube.com in Nashville. The vice-presidential candidates will debate once at Washington University in St. Louis, Mo.
Also next year, we celebrate the 40th birthday of federal weed.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Friday, November 16, 2007
Buckwheat returns to disrupt Louisiana politics
Never before have Louisiana politics and Eddie Murphy meshed so well.
According to The Associated Press, state Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, D-Morgan City, ended a telephone call with the mother of the NAACP's local president by saying, "Talk to you later, Buckwheat." The mother in question is Hazel Boykin, a prominent civil rights activist who helped desegregate restaurants and Terrebonne's school system in the 1960s.
When I read this, I figured another Republican was promoting the use of ignorance and intolerance when it comes to race relations. I also predicted another arrival of the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to Southern Louisiana to call for someone to resign. Then I reread the passage more carefully and noticed her political affiliation.
Lo and behold, she's a Democrat.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I can't wait anymore: Bring on the turducken
Louisiana is the second-least healthy state in the nation, according to the United Health Foundation.
If I were thinner, blonder and more female, I would care a little more and try to eat better.
For anyone in distress about what they eat, I have found the perfect diet: wait tables, eat one meal a day - preferably between 4 and 5 p.m. - smoke cigarettes and play bongos. You'll be surprised at how quickly the weight drops. I stand today 100 pounds lighter than when I started my second semester in spring 2005, and I have fine dining experience, drum skills and black lungs to show for it. But I'm thinner.
If you're like me - proud to be a Louisianian, large and in charge, while thankfully not living in Port Allen - you're pacing impatiently for the next nine days waiting for your turducken.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Monday, November 5, 2007
Student Government fails to publicize fall elections well
We beat Nick Saban, and our reward was an extra hour of sleep or an extra hour at the bars, if you choose to see it that way. It's Homecoming week, Pakistan is in chaos and 900,000 homes in Mexico have been flooded. I could be writing about how O.J. Simpson is going to jail - and deservedly so - or about Dog, The Great White Hunter.
All of the above said, the focus of this column is the upcoming Student Government elections. I just heard most of you groan. I didn't even know about these elections until a fellow columnist informed me of such this past Thursday. SG elections are two days away, for the 30,000 of you who didn't know, and SG deserves the same, if not a little more, coverage as any other issue, no matter how little people care.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: LSU
Monday, October 29, 2007
Port Allen serves delicious racism with a side of corn
I've played with pigs and ran with chickens. I've bounced on a jumping pillow. I have allowed myself to get lost in a maze.
Never before, though, have I ever shot an Arab in the face with an ear of corn. And some people actually have the nerve to question why Louisianians are considered so racist.
All of the above activities can be found at Porky's Corny Conundrum, one of 1,200 corn- field mazes ready for exploration. The Port Allen attraction is a subsidiary of the MAiZE, a corn field maze company specializing in creating giant pathways from fields of corn. Begun in 1996 by Brett Herbst, a Brigham Young University graduate from Salmon, Idaho, the first corn maze was built in American Folk, Utah - no, I'm not making that name up - and became the largest corn maze in the Western United States. After 11 years and a Guinness world record, the MAiZE has expanded to more than 190 locations, including mazes in Canada, Great Britain, Italy and even Poland.
I'm not sure if Poland knows what a corn launcher is, though.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
President Colbert would shake up Washington
Forget everything I've ever said about Al Gore, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or any other presidential hopeful. I don't have to vote for them anymore. The clear choice in 2008 is finally running.
Dr. Stephen "Tiberius" Colbert, D.F.A., is running for president, solely in the state of South Carolina.
As the host of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," Colbert unleashes a venomous collision of slippery metaphors with enough fire to burn the sun. His rhetoric can be heard by two out of three countries in North America. He isn't bothered by polls, which he refers to as "a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well-known liberal bias."
Colbert isn't one of the elites. He isn't a member of the Factinista. He isn't one of the brainiacs of the Nerd Patrol. His opinions come straight from the gut. He believes the Panama Canal was built in 1941. You can look it up. Maybe some of you will look it up and find out that it's not true, but that's because you looked it up in a book. Next time, use your gut, and your answer will never be wrong.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Fresh off Nobel Prize win, we need Gore in '08
According to the will of Alfred Nobel - ironically, the inventor of dynamite - the Nobel Peace Prize should be awarded "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between the nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."
The most noble and noteworthy winner of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize, among the 2,000 or so scientists serving on the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, is the man who used to be "the next president of the United States." I won't get started on a rant about the Electoral College, but the people of this nation picked the right candidate. According to the 105,417,258 Americans who voted in the 2000 presidential election, 51,003,926 people allied themselves with Albert Arnold Gore Jr., but since the election, he has turned into a philanthropist, activist and role model for citizens of the world.
You better believe a little lingering resentment rests within the soul of this great man over losing to a second generation, silver spoon-fed tyrant who defended his veto of the State Children's Health Insurance Program, preventing low-income children from getting health care coverage, by saying "poor kids first." According to The New York Times, Gore warned in 2002 that if we invaded Iraq, "the resulting chaos could easily pose a far greater danger to the United States than we presently face from Saddam." Today marks the five-year anniversary of President Bush's signing of the congressional authorization to use military force in Iraq.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: Politics
Monday, October 8, 2007
No question about it: LSU is No. 1 team in the country
Kirk Herbstreit left ESPN College GameDay to broadcast another game across the country. He picked Florida.
He also picked USC, just like the rest of the country. Just after a 4-yard touchdown run by Keiland Williams with 7:49 left in the third quarter, the legendary Tiger Stadium public address announcer Dan Borne informed all 92,910 emotionally charged fans that Stanford defeated the once No. 1-ranked Trojans. Never have I been in a football stadium when the entire attitude of the game was completely reversed because of the celebration in the stands inspired by another team's defeat.
Make no question about it: LSU is the No. 1 team in the country.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
SG president needs to re-evaluate her priorities
"I want to move forward. I'm here to move forward with this campus. I was elected to get us there, and I will do anything it takes to get us there."
Those were the words of Student Government President Cassie Alsfeld, in defense of her vote on the LSU Board of Supervisors to approve the Student Union fee increase originally shot down by the students this past semester. Apparently, "doing anything" involves ignoring the student body's wishes and pushing on with one's own agenda. I voted in favor of the Union Theater Referendum put in front of the students, and when it was defeated by 50.99 percent of the student body, I sighed but eventually accepted the will of the students. To vote in a board room unanimously against the vote of the student body, regardless of how close the vote was, is unjust and unfair. The Board essentially turned our vote into a poll.
Madame Alsfeld has expressed her dissent with The Daily Reveille's coverage of SG during the course of this semester, saying in a Letter to the Editor on Sept. 27, "the presentation and choice of stories have displayed an obvious slant within management." Her actions as president this semester, however, have displayed a much steeper slant.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: LSU
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Controlling procrastination not to be put off
I've already gone outside four times to smoke a cigarette; "Poke wars" have been raging on Facebook.com; I'm trying to decide whether to use iTunes or Windows Media Player to listen to music; and about 40 different YouTube.com videos of people cranking that Soulja Boy are keeping me from studying for two exams this week.
And they shouldn't be. I've never had the best study habits (or any, really), and minor distractions that come from the luxury of owning a laptop seem like a better way to spend my time than worrying about whether farmers could cope with the realities of Reconstruction and the Industrial Revolution.
My point: procrastination sucks.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: Academics
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
BET's new Read a Book campaign causes controversy
The staple of Black Entertainment Television for the past 15 years has been music videos preaching violence, female degradation and buying tricked-out Impalas sitting on spinning 24-inch rims. But an animated short called "Read a Book" is being ridiculously singled out as vulgar, ignorant and offensive.
The cartoon, set to a hip-hop remix of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and created by Bomani "D'Mite" Armah and Tyree Dillihay, is a parody of BET's long-standing bread and butter of video girls in booty pants (spelling B-O-O-K across the behind), thugs with assault weapons (shooting copies of Zora Neale Hurston at unsuspecting foes) and profane lyrics, imploring people to "read a book, read a book, read a muh'fuckin book." Armah and Dillihay contend that the cartoon is pure parody in principle, but not everyone sees it that way.
Most notable among the dissenters is the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who invited Armah to speak on his radio show, "Keep Hope Alive." The reverend rails against Armah, comparing the music video to the racist rants of Michael Richards and Don Imus. But what he fails to realize, is the condition with which this video was made. Richards and Imus spoke in distaste, while Armah's creation comically satirizes the sad state of rap music and exists as a launching pad for debate and discussion into our media and our parenting skills.
Jackson has done many important and incredible things on behalf of black people everywhere, but as Token astutely observed on "South Park," "Jesse Jackson is not the emperor of black people."
Dissent for this cartoon comes with the stench of "protecting our children" rhetoric. In an interview with CNN's Tony Harris, or as I like to call him, "Black Bill O'Reilly," Armah and Dillihay detect the false juxtaposition of "Read a Book" with traditional children's programming like "Schoolhouse Rock" and "The Electric Company." They argue their video parallels other music videos like "Ay Bay Bay" and "Bartender." According to Denys Cowan, BET's Senior Vice President of Animation, "The video was not part of any literacy campaign or "Schoolhouse Rock" alternative, but was intended for BET's demographic of 18-34 year olds."
But there is a fine line between genuine parody and sending a message, and anyone arguing this video is the sole purpose of controversy on BET is a hypocrite. On a network that regularly features rappers, saying "pour [shots] on the models, shut up bitch swallow. If you can't swallow, shut up bitch gargle," how is a cartoon encouraging good hygiene and drinking water at such a source of tension?
According to The New York Times, the video seems to flaunt every negative stereotype in the black community. Kam Williams of Newsblaze.com goes a step further, arguing the video flaunts women as a source of lust for impressionable young boys. She goes on to say that many black entertainers "declared war" on the dignity of the black female, rather than take a stand against grave injustices. She cited D.L. Hughley's response to Imus on "The Tonight Show," saying, "There were some nappy-headed women on that team. You know it's true. They were some of the ugliest women I've seen in my whole life."
This double standard will continue to exist for some time. People get so worried about what they say, and in an increasingly globalized world where one's speeches and quotes can be uploaded online mere minutes after they are said, we are moving closer and closer to a massive, user-controlled big brother society. Just because the NAACP held a public burial for the N-word in the wake of the Imus scandal, it doesn't mean rappers and racists alike won't continue to use the word. Freedom of speech comes with an implied responsibility, and it's up to us to ensure that what we say does not come off a certain way.
There is nothing wrong with words; rather, the problem exists with the context in which we use them. In this day and age, racially motivated humor, just as any other humor, is becoming more risqué and more sensitive. We need thicker skin, but we also need to be responsible for the words that we use. I will not begin to assign a list of words for each race and gender based on how each demographic may feel about a certain word. My job is to spread my opinion to a college campus, and I believe anyone should say anything they want because they know better if they say otherwise. This country is long overdue for a conscientious (and real) dialogue on protecting our children, being smart when we speak and giving arguments based on logic and common sense.
The best way to protect our children is simple. Turn off the TV, disconnect the cable and tell your kids to "read a muh'fuckin' book." They might actually learn something.
Originally published in The Daily Reveille...
Labels: Music, Race, Television
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Feelings on Bush change as war on terror drags on
To Josh, Aaron, Jeremy, Jaeger, Julian and Allison, I wish you were here. Hopefully, the progress report on the war will bring you out of Iraq and back home where you belong.
I was sitting in my high school chemistry class in 10th grade, talking excitedly with my friends about this new movie coming out called "Zoolander." A fellow classmate ran in, saying that someone had blown up the Pentagon. We quickly jumped for the television, and at 8:59 a.m. CST on Sept. 11, 2001, the collapse of the South Tower of the World Trade Center was broadcast to a worldwide audience. We remained speechless, confused for a moment as to whether we were watching a movie or reality.
After about five minutes, we decided to continue with the day's lesson, for which our teacher, Dodie Wells, planned a demonstration involving the mixture of pure magnesium and water. For the non-chemistry majors out there, when pure magnesium is mixed with water, it explodes. The bang was audible from the outside, as some classes decided to exit for the day and try to contact loved ones in New York and Washington.
But the phones didn't work. I couldn't reach my cousins, Lindsay and Jamey, until a week later. No one at my school, Isidore Newman School, knew what to do. We were all gathered in the auditorium, where Dean of Students Dale Smith confirmed the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. He said President Bush was on his way to Barksdale Air Force Base in Shreveport, and that senior Will Ensenat, the president's godson, had been escorted off school grounds by the U.S. Secret Service.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: 9/11, New Orleans, Politics
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Drinking age cannot be regulated by laws
f you've walked around campus the day of an LSU football game, you've seen how Louisianians feel about alcohol (for those of you unfamiliar with tailgating etiquette around campus, wait until Saturday). Kegs, coolers and shots are consumed in all directions, as Tiger fans get liquored up before the game. This will be my third season of LSU football as a student, and I'm still not 21.
I turn 21 just 12 days after Mardi Gras next year - but I'm not bitter. Many people think I would be a little more enraged, but it's not as if I can't get alcohol in New Orleans - it's just the principle of the thing. If every bar, liquor store and restaurant all of a sudden decided to enforce the drinking age, I'd be out of luck. But The Big Easy is known as such for many reasons, one of them being the ease with which underage New Orleanians can acquire alcohol. The age law has long since become obsolete.
According to the National Institute of Health, the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 is the law concerning underage drinking. While not specifically mandating an age limit, it requires a 10 percent decrease in federal highway funding for states that don't enforce the minimum drinking age of 21, forcing states into submission. Barring certain exceptions, it is illegal for me to purchase alcohol in the United States and most Middle Eastern countries like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Iran. In the rest of the civilized world, the minimum drinking age varies from 16 to 20.
I can vote for my president, my governor and my mayor, but I can't have a drink. I can be shipped to Iraq to fight for my country (i.e. going to kill people), and I can have a drink in Baghdad, but I can't have a drink in America. I can smoke cigarettes, which have been all but proven to give me and the people around me lung cancer, but I can't have a drink.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: Drinking
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
New Orleans recovers slowly from the storm
Hurricane Katrina's wrath was first felt, as we memorialize today, on Aug. 29, 2005. At about 4 a.m., CNN's Miles O'Brien broadcasted live in front of the Indian Mounds here at the University. Four friends and I watched. We ended up finding a party on top of the mounds, with dancing, singing, plenty of Jack Daniel's and the sheer excitement of playing in a hurricane. A chant of "GO KA-TRI-NA" (clap clap clap-clap-clap) broke out, as we marveled at each drop of rain, each rumble of thunder and each strike of lightning that illuminated Tiger Stadium.
I was on the Baton Rouge levee when the waves crashed on the shore and the near-horizontal rain stabbed my back. But my friends and I were determined to find a cameraman in order to make it on TV. We did. We pretended to be hurricane hunters from Minnesota, as we were swept away in a force of nature, and we cheered and danced in the middle of a natural disaster. Upon our return to Kirby-Smith Hall, it was announced that the 17th Street Canal levee broke, unapologetically inundating my hometown.
My fellow New Orleanians were drowning. My city was underwater. And I was in a state of shock.
Continue reading at The Daily Reveille...
Labels: Hurricane Katrina, LSU, New Orleans
Thursday, July 26, 2007
When the Record Falls...
...Eric believes that nothing will tarnish the new home run record.
755. It’s the most powerful number in all of sports. Not 100, not 63, not 99, not 2,632. Sports starts and ends with the number 755.
This number soon will cease to have any meaning. One man (at the time of this writing, sitting at 753) will have the pleasure of rendering what was the most famous number in sports, at least for the last 33 years, completely obsolete. Now, it could be argued that Barry Lamar Bonds, the future “black sheep” of baseball history, doesn’t merit the title of baseball’s Home Run King, as allegations of steroid use haunt him to this day. And whether or not he actually used performance-enhancing drugs to boost his soon-to-be record-breaking numbers may remain a mystery, locked in the vault of unknown history forever.
When Bonds breaks the record and becomes the all-time home run king, he will be loved by some, hated and persecuted by many, and threatened by many more. But he will have earned the most hallowed record in sports, and until evidence to the contrary arises, no asterisk, blemish, or blip should be put next to his name. After 21 years of constantly fighting off adversity, negativity, and even death threats, Bonds has rightfully earned his place in history as one of the five greatest players to ever knock the dirt off their cleats.
Continue reading at Baseball Evolution...
Monday, July 9, 2007
State of the Ivy Address - All-Star Break, 2007
Eric uses the All-Star Break to give a status report on his favorite team.
On Sunday afternoon, the Cubs ended the first half of the season the way they started it: in an inferior opponent’s ballpark, with their ace on the hill, losing by five runs. Carlos Zambrano was out-dueled in the season opener in Cincinnati by Aaron Harang, while LSU graduate Shane Youman, in his second start after replacing DL-bound Zach Duke, pitched impressively to earn his second straight win for the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Cubs, other than NL All-Stars Alfonso Soriano and Derrek Lee, will get three days of well-earned rest after winning 12 of their final 16 games to pull within 4.5 games of the NL Central-leading Milwaukee Brewers. There are 75 games left for the North Siders, and with the All-Star Break in full swing in San Francisco, now is a good time to take stock of this roller-coaster first half of a season, and predict what the future holds.
Continue reading at Baseball Evolution...
Friday, May 18, 2007
Bill O'Reilly and music videos
But this phenomenon didn't start with news. It started with a song written 28 years ago by Trevor Horn, Courtney Courson, Geoffrey Downes, and Bruce Woolley. They were better known as The Buggles. "I heard you on the wireless back in Fifty Two. Lying awake intent at tuning in on you. If I was young, it didn't stop you coming through. Oh Oh." We know this song better as "Video Killed The Radio Star," but it might as well be the anthem for news as well as MTV. When this video premiered as MTV commenced on August 1, 1981, no one foresaw the death of music as we know it. For the most part, music is dead. There are songs produced these days that transcend how we listen and experience music, but the love of greed and money that we have today has left its putrid stench on what was once a wonderful experience. When we listen to music, we get a vision. That vision can transport us to a new dimension of life; it reminds us of times spent in the past, whether in a kitchen or a foreign country ("Don't Speak" by No Doubt sends me straight back to France), and music will continue to exist in this capacity.
Just like the newspaper. When we read articles, it forces our mind to receive new information that is forced to react to our own emotions and feelings. Granted, the news has gotten worse and worse in the last six years, but we can still formulate an opinion based on articles that we read. Whether positive or negative, we can think about it. Fox News tells you how to think. They will appraise you if you're "right" (like Ann Coulter, who said that we must invade foreign countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity), and they will yell at you until red in the face if you're "wrong" (like Jeremy Glick, the son of a Port Authority worker slain on 9/11, who was yelled at by Bill O'Reilly, told to shut up, then had his mic cut and was thrown out of the studio. You can see it for yourself on YouTube.) They constantly plant a vision into the minds of mostly uneducated America about what is right and what is wrong. Anyone reading this who agrees with Fox News, let me ask you a question: Do you like being treated like a child, or do you like to make up your own mind? Read the paper, form an opinion, think for yourself.
Peace.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Writing with a purpose?
But, I digress.
I really have no idea what to write about, except that words in a blog, or notebook, or journal, or diary, serve a much greater purpose than the ones floating around in my head. Which got me thinking about the nature of thinking. If you ask someone who the current president is, they will say "George W. Bush." But do they actually think the words, "OK, who is the president? It's George W. Bush. Time to answer"? Because if someone asked me who the current president is, in my head would be heard, quite loudly, moaning and groaning in utter disgust of what the correct answer to the question is. Right now, you're reading words on a screen, but it really doesn't mean anything, and this blog really doesn't mean anything. I could write anything down here, and you're still reading it. I could say that, sociologically speaking, the fact that I merely attend college automatically makes me smarter than more than half of the country. It's true, look it up. I really stopped writing with a purpose a long time ago, and it's clear that I need a sense of structure or discipline in my writing, as writing is sacred. The thought of language and the idea that we have a communication system on universally (or not so much) recognized symbols create words, and these words, put in the right order, can change the world. Just like the Gettysburg Address, just like the Treaty of Versailles, just like Hamlet, just like the works of Plato and Aristotle and Nietzsche and so on and so forth, they're just words. Words on a page. Whether you like these words or not, you have used these words before, and the order in which you use them makes all the difference. There will never be a time where no one can say anything without repeating something in the past. It's this thought that led to the quote "Those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it." This is the reason why so many events in history have repeated themselves, just like Vietnam and Iraq. I seek no approval in the words I say, because I have freedom of speech. It wasn't given to me by a mayor, or a president, or a God for that matter. It was given to me by a document. My ability to make words was given to me by a page filled with words. And I'm going to say what I want, whenever I want, however I want. If you don't like it, make some words of your own. The point is that we can all express emotion.
So let it out.
Labels: Academics
Monday, April 2, 2007
Opening Day Diary
A hilarious romp through the first real games in over five months, viewed through the eyeglasses of a Cubs fan, of course.
Well, it’s finally here. I’ve had to suffer through the NCAA Tournament, crappy NBA action, and hours upon hours of Mel Kiper Jr. earning his paycheck in between the Super Bowl and the NFL Draft. But baseball season is finally here, and to celebrate, I will be composing a running diary of all of the events of the first day, focusing on the Chicago Cubs-Cincinnati Reds contest. IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!
1:07pm CST: I wake up, remembering that the Cubs game starts soon, and I don’t miss it. The TV comes on, the Apple Jacks are poured, the coffee is made, and it’s time for baseball.
1:13pm: The debate all Cub fans know well: whether to watch the game on WGN or ESPN2. As the mayor of Cincinnati throws the first pitch wide to the left, I notice that the ESPN2 feed is about a second and a half slower. WGN it is.
1:21pm: Damn my infernal smoking habit. I run back inside to miss Alfonso Soriano’s and Matt Murton’s at bats. Derrek Lee is awarded first base on a walk because Aaron Harang walks off of the mound. Hey, good start. Then Lee tries to steal second. Essentially a 1-2-3 inning.
Continue reading at Baseball Evolution...
Sunday, April 1, 2007
2007 Chicago Cubs Team Preview
Eric vows not to make the same mistake twice in this year's Cub forecast. 2006 Record: 66-96 (Last in NL Central)
2006 Runs Scored: 716
2006 Runs Allowed: 834
Pythagorean 2006 Record: 70-92
What a difference one year can make. One year ago, I expressed my hope that the Cubs would contend for the wild-card spot, if not the division title. One year ago, I was expressing my extreme discontent for the selection of 2005 NL MVP Albert Pujols over the actual Most Valuable Player, Derrek Lee. One year ago, I learned precisely what a “faux-pas” was as I boldly proclaimed that Jeromy Burnitz was “the biggest disappointment in Cub history,” much to the chagrin of the BaseballEvolution.com staff. And one year ago, I was a 19-year-old living in Baltimore and weighed about 360 pounds. Now a spry, 20-year-old, 282-pound sophomore in a swanky apartment on the campus of LSU, I make my return to BaseballEvolution.com with the 2007 Chicago Cubs Preview.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I'm Going To Hell On Tuesdays
Thursday, March 15, 2007
How To Eat AT IHOP: The American Dream
A quick, informative guide to eating properly when visiting the International House of Pancakes. This two minute video will shape up your mastery of what it means to eat pancakes, and refresh your memory of what it is to be an American.
Labels: Food
This vid fucking has me in it! I couldn't believe it when i saw it. Look on the right side when the camera pans to the right at the 2 minute mark, and then keep stomaching it until the end. this makes me sick.