Big Easy snubbed in favor of federal weed Mecca

First, let's all take a breath together. We made it through.

Today marks the official close of the 2007 Atlantic hurricane season, finishing with six hurricanes as opposed to the nine originally predicted by William M. Gray and his associates at Colorado State University. This is the second year in a row in which the number of predicted hurricanes outweighed the actual amount.

Gray, along with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, famously under-predicted on every level in 2005, forecasting 15 tropical storms and eight hurricanes, four of which were predicted to be major storms. There were actually 28 tropical storms, 15 hurricanes - seven major - and a major American city still mending her shattered soul. New Orleanians are still waiting for someone to direct major policy changes in order to repair the wound Hurricane Katrina inflicted.

That someone, however, will not be one of the two candidates for president.

On Nov. 19, the Commission on Presidential Debates announced its collegiate hosts for debates in 2008: The University of Mississippi in Oxford, Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn., and Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. The first debate will center on domestic policy, saving foreign policy for Hempstead after a town hall meets YouTube.com in Nashville. The vice-presidential candidates will debate once at Washington University in St. Louis, Mo.

Also next year, we celebrate the 40th birthday of federal weed.

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Buckwheat returns to disrupt Louisiana politics

Never before have Louisiana politics and Eddie Murphy meshed so well.

According to The Associated Press, state Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, D-Morgan City, ended a telephone call with the mother of the NAACP's local president by saying, "Talk to you later, Buckwheat." The mother in question is Hazel Boykin, a prominent civil rights activist who helped desegregate restaurants and Terrebonne's school system in the 1960s.

When I read this, I figured another Republican was promoting the use of ignorance and intolerance when it comes to race relations. I also predicted another arrival of the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to Southern Louisiana to call for someone to resign. Then I reread the passage more carefully and noticed her political affiliation.

Lo and behold, she's a Democrat.

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I can't wait anymore: Bring on the turducken

Louisiana is the second-least healthy state in the nation, according to the United Health Foundation.

If I were thinner, blonder and more female, I would care a little more and try to eat better.

For anyone in distress about what they eat, I have found the perfect diet: wait tables, eat one meal a day - preferably between 4 and 5 p.m. - smoke cigarettes and play bongos. You'll be surprised at how quickly the weight drops. I stand today 100 pounds lighter than when I started my second semester in spring 2005, and I have fine dining experience, drum skills and black lungs to show for it. But I'm thinner.

If you're like me - proud to be a Louisianian, large and in charge, while thankfully not living in Port Allen - you're pacing impatiently for the next nine days waiting for your turducken.

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Student Government fails to publicize fall elections well

We beat Nick Saban, and our reward was an extra hour of sleep or an extra hour at the bars, if you choose to see it that way. It's Homecoming week, Pakistan is in chaos and 900,000 homes in Mexico have been flooded. I could be writing about how O.J. Simpson is going to jail - and deservedly so - or about Dog, The Great White Hunter.

All of the above said, the focus of this column is the upcoming Student Government elections. I just heard most of you groan. I didn't even know about these elections until a fellow columnist informed me of such this past Thursday. SG elections are two days away, for the 30,000 of you who didn't know, and SG deserves the same, if not a little more, coverage as any other issue, no matter how little people care.

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